Whenever Margrét visits from Iceland, we can’t call it a proper New York night out without visiting Rick Conti, her favorite karaoke host. Rick is flanked at all times by gorgeous, smiling women—which is endearing because when Lost was on television, he was all-too-often mistaken for Hurley.
Rick stands at the DJ booth in the back of one of those dingy Brooklyn lad-bars with too many flat screens and nowhere to sit. But, when he sees Margrét, he throws his arms open from across the room to welcome her. He’s Canadian and teddy bear-shaped with a chest-length beard that no one could call trendy, and the only parts of his cheeks you can see are always rosy from smiling. The place is full of the strapping Viking lads you’d expect, but Margrét smiles whenever she sees Rick and says, “His curls make you want to have babies that will have the same curls.”
Unfortunately for Margrét and the rest of the ladies who’ve come to see him—and it must be said, the karaoke backroom is packed with women—Rick is taken. He’ll always say, “And I picked her up in the real world not on the Internet.” He laughs, and it’s even funnier because, according to a recent study published in yet another thrilling issue of Proceedings of the Natural Academy of Sciences of the United States of America (or PNAS for short), Rick’s open posture and confidence is what really makes women swoon. The researchers found that “postural expansiveness makes humans more romantically appealing.”
In a dating world in which success sometimes is determined by a split-second decision rendered after a brief interaction or exposure to a static photograph, single persons have very little time to make a good impression.
Likewise, if you want to welcome women into your life even online, your profile pic needs to show you with open arms.
“In a dating world in which success sometimes is determined by a split-second decision rendered after a brief interaction or exposure to a static photograph, single persons have very little time to make a good impression,” explain the study’s authors. “Our research suggests that a nonverbal dominance display increases a person’s chances of being selected as a potential mate.”
Humans are incredibly sensitive to body language, even more so in our digital age. In the real world, you might give someone a few minutes to redeem themselves after appearing “closed off,” perhaps while checking an email. But in a Tinder profile picture, you’d probably just swipe left.
Yeah, part of you wants to look brooding and cool in your Tinder pic like Bob Dylan slunk in a corner over your Moleskine. But you’re not going to be any more successful than you would if you smiled like Chris Farley.
Confidence is one of those things like job experience—you need to have some to get some. Having the confidence to put up a confident photo might lead to your getting more confidence from actually pulling it off. This is an example where you really ought to fake it ’til you make it. So look confident, even though no one has ever asked you to model for a cologne ad, and women might find that intriguing enough to want to get to know you.