posted
04/1/13
“Coffee is for closers only.”
When you’re working your magic on a lady, one of the trickiest parts is taking things to the next level. Let’s be honest: you want more than just another date. You want a night of hot, animalistic sex that you’ll both remember for years to come. Or at least some very heavy petting. But how do you make the jump? Women have years of experience dealing with skeevy bros they’ve met at the bar. What’s more, few things send them running for the hills faster than a guy who makes them feel like a slutty foregone conclusion. So here are five tips that separate the men closing the deal from the men curling up in their Tim Tebow jerseys alone. (Oh, and if you don’t recognize that quote, it’ll all make sense at the end.)
1. Make Her Feel Safe
“I know you wanted to use protection, but isn’t this going a little far?”
Women of our generation aren’t going anywhere with a guy who doesn’t make them feel secure. Throughout the night you have to come across as interesting and exciting, yes, but also safe. This means that even when you’re joking around, you need to be respectful at all times. Not only should you not do anything sketchy, you shouldn’t even do anything she might perceive as sketchy, like asking her to meet at your apartment the first time you get together, or pushing alcohol on her.
On the flip side, call out anything that may seem sketchy. If you have to use the bathroom when you drop her off, say something like: “Hey, I’d love to use your bathroom because I kinda need to, but I also understand if you’re not comfortable with that.” When you call it out, it takes the potential awkwardness away and shows you appreciate her safety concerns. Remember, perception equals reality when it comes to her feelings and assessments of you.
2. Keep Things (Relatively) Sober
Sure it looks tasty now, but do you know where their feet have been?
One way to ensure that you don’t seal the deal is by getting her so drunk she can barely remember her name. Remember what we said about being sketchy? That’s pretty much the definition right there. If you have to get girls trashed for them to be interested in you, your game is obviously weak sauce and you need to step it up.
Being at a nice, cruising level of inebriation will have you both loosened up enough to enjoy yourselves but not commit acts of debauchery that you’ll regret in the morning. If you have to get her that cocked to get her home, you aren’t really sealing the deal. It’s a little more like shoplifting.
3. Show Interest
If that chick has an Eddie Munster fetish, he is so in.
You’d think this one should be a no-brainer, but it’s not. You can’t just expect her to come to you. You have to pursue her a bit. Women like knowing that you’re after them, willing to face a bit of rejection, and up to the challenge of showing some balls to make it happen.
Talk to her, break the conversation, go do something else and come back to her and resume flirting like a champ, while raising the physical and emotional stakes (see tip #5 below). The playing-hard-to-get thing works for women. On a man it makes you look a bit like, well, a woman.
