Breaking news: body grooming is a two-way street, and while women have been following the driving regulations for years, some men have been blatantly ignoring them. You should be ticketed and fined, because what lady wants to go through the jungle to get to the stalk? Not me.

Things do seem to be changing, though. According to Made Man’s recent Guyde survey, 68 percent of you all manscape, and 95 percent of that group do so in their manliest region. If your lady complains about your mane, or it gets caught in your zipper, it’s time to join the herd. Fortunately, as a Master Barber and spokesperson for King of Shaves, I can help. Here’s how to police your nether regions.

 

1. Gather your supplies. These include electric hair clippers, baby powder, a King of Shaves Azor or other quality razor, King of Shaves AlphaOil Natural or other quality clear shaving oil, alcohol-free aftershave cream and a full-length mirror.

 

2. Wash and dry the area to be shaven, then lightly dust with baby powder.

3. Use electric clippers to remove most of the hair’s length. Clip slowly and carefully. It’s easier to shave more later than it is put the hair back. Don’t worry too much, though. It isn’t as bad as a bad haircut, as not many other people are going to see it. (Well, assuming you’re not a streaker.)

4. Stand in front of a full-length mirror and mentally establish the top outline you would like. Using the clippers, make a line about one inch above the top of the crease formed by the leg and groin intersection. Repeat this step at the top of the legs along the downward slope toward the testicles, making a one-inch border of closely trimmed hair in the shape of a triangle.

5. Sculpt the triangle of pubic hair. Trim all the long hairs sticking up above the border with an electric clipper, leaving the hair at a shorter, more manageable length.

6. Dust the to-be-shaven area with baby powder and apply warm water to moisten the skin. Do not try to shave this area dry! Then apply a couple drops of shaving oil to add lubrication and an extra protective layer between your skin and the blade. Clear shaving oil allows you to see exactly where you’re shaving, perfect for avoiding problem areas.

7. Using your razor, shave with the direction of hair growth. Always remember to rinse the blade between strokes to prevent clogging. Once you get the hang of it, you might also want to shave the shaft. Use the same procedure as for the borders, trimming the hair down first before shaving, stretching the shaft tight as you shave, and shaving with the grain to avoid cuts and irritation. You’re essentially sticking to the same principals of a face shave; the stakes are just a little higher.

 

8. Use soothing cream to prevent itchiness and irritation. Then call your woman and tell her to clear her schedule. After all, you are streamlined and ready for action…