We showed you how to pick up the elusive and wily artist chick and we’ve sung the praises of smart girls too. Now it’s time to bag an athletic chick… Maria Sharapova, here we come. 

Know an exercise she doesn’t

Anyone who spends more than 3 hours a week with one activity is bound to end up a nerd for said activity. An athletic chick is no different. So some generic line like, "Man, how about those people at the gym?!" is not going to work. Get specific and get obscure. If she’s a runner, mention some Soviet weight training techniques. If she’s a lifter, well, first off good luck with that, and secondly, mention the physiological benefits of Kenyan-style barefoot racing. A little goes a long way. But…

Don’t talk to much shop

An athletic chick knows a lot about athletics. She keeps in peak physical shape for a number of reasons but we can’t assume one of those reasons was so she could talk about exercise ad nauseam. So impress her a bit and then don’t bring up the subject of exercise or athletics. Let her steer the conversation there when she feels comfortable.

Make her girly

Working out and playing sports are generally associated not just with being a man but with manliness in general. Athletic chicks know that but don’t let that fact stop them from working out. And just because she’s athletic doesn’t mean she’s not a girl, just like just because you’re NOT athletic doesn’t mean you’re not a man. It just means you’re fat. So appeal on her girlier side… most guys wouldn’t so that’d give you a leg up. And then you just need another leg up and you’re good to go, sir.

But let her flex a bit, too

If you don’t mention her physique and athleticism at all, however, she’s not gonna be raising ANY legs. The fact that she could break your collar bone in an arm wrestling match will be the elephant in the room if you don’t mention anything. Or worse, she’ll start getting insecure about herself and, in spite of what Pickup Artists might say, nobody wants to end up with an insecure, mopey chick — athletic or otherwise. So casually mention that you OBVIOUSLY notice how impeccably well toned her body is and, as the manager at a One Pump Whore House might say, keep it moving.

Be direct

One thing anyone who exercises a lot will tell you is that physical training as a lifestyle changes not only your body but also your mind. Sure, there are physiological reasons for that — people with higher amounts of testosterone and endorphins just act differently. But also, the physically fit lifestyle teaches you how to stop effing around. You can’t pussy foot when it comes to dead-lifting 300 pounds and that same mentality spreads to all aspects of your life. Your athletic chick will be no different and she’s not going to be attracted to you if you’re a wimp. So BE DIRECT. Let her know you’re interested pretty quickly and don’t be afraid to tell her what’s on your mind. Don’t worry, she won’t beat you up — probably.

Get a bit physical

Non-athletic chicks are, for the most part, weak creatures. If you give a 90-pound hottie a high-five, you’re likely to shatter her arm in 12 places. An athletic chick isn’t going to have that problem so don’t be afraid to get a little more physical than you normally would. A playful backslap or a harder-than-normal hand shake should do the trick. Just don’t try to beat her up — that’s a fight you will lose.

You can be skinny, but you can’t be fat

Athletic chicks are certainly attracted to non-athletic dudes. There’s certainly some freaky-but-fun role reversal stuff going on when a ripped hottie gives a skinny dude a bear-hug. Muscles are not a requirement. But being nonfat is. She’s gonna think you’re lazy and that you might actually let your fat-guy lifestyle ruin her hard-earned physique, so she’ll stay away from you like a plague of lard. So if you’re a portly fellow and you’re interested in an athletic chick, it’s time you went got on the South Beach Diet, son.

Don’t treat her like a freak 

One deal-breaker when it comes to any chick who deviates from the "norm is when you treat that deviation like a novelty act in a freak show. That goes for girls in wheelchairs (or "Hotties on Wheels") and it goes for athletic chicks too. So don’t stare, don’t point and don’t laugh. Again, she WILL kick your ass.

Fight the urge to propose a physical challenge

Yeah, I’d like to see if a WNBA player could do more push ups than me. I’m an interested party, just like you. And a physical challenge, outside of a curiosity, isn’t necessarily a deal breaker. If you end up neck-in-neck in a midnight foot race with your athletic lady friend, the evening might end in a session of 100 yard SMASH. Also, you might have sex. But what if you lose big? Or what if she does? Either way, there’s going to be a sore loser… you. Because you’re not going to get laid.

Actually be athletic

If you want to relate to an athletic chick, it’d help if you were actually an athletic dude. You will just relate more on just about every level. Sure we can’t all be blessed with innate physical gifts, but if you got ’em, what’s stopping you from finding your well-toned mate? Be the Andre Agassi to her Steffi Graf

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