By: Marushka Mujic
Getting over long-term stints spent with girls you actually like can be gruelingly difficult, that’s for certain. Even if you instigated the exit strategy (i.e. did the dumping), reintegrating into the world of standard solo living can seem shocking and bizarre. You may lose friends the both of you shared, as well as local hang outs the both of you frequented and feel displaced, disoriented and definitely ill at ease every time a new girl attempts to hit on you. But not to worry, time heals all. Well… time and a few other things, of course.
Revamp your wardrobe
Shallow as it seems, sometimes we must move from the outside in. Meaning, if you feel absolutely unattractive, awkward and out of style internally, changing up your wardrobe can help. The feeling most of us experience when sporting a new watch or well deserved, undeniably handsome pair of shoes is a good way to get your confidence jump started after your most recent relationship has stalled. Have no idea what to buy or wear? Best thing to do is to pick a style icon, whether it’s Farmer John (hopefully not) or James Bond and emulate their ensembles. As simple as childhood dress up, if we wear costumes close to those whom we admire, we suddenly begin feeling quite admirable ourselves.
Get in shape
Nothing builds confidence like building up your body. The natural chemical affects of exercise will encourage high energy levels and a willingness for enthusiasm in you unusual for most post-break up males, while also encouraging you to engage in more activities that require you being shirtless. Create a schedule for yourself, whether it’s joining a gym, hitting up boxing classes or jogging every morning. Not to worry if the usual expense of exercise seems troubling at this time, there are plenty of ways to get sweating for free. What’s important is to wake up each day with the intention of being physical active in some way, even if it’s riding your bicycle to work instead of sitting in traffic. Mother wasn’t lying, exercise is just plain good for your general being.
Hit the town
Though it may seem like the absolute last thing your current physical or emotional condition desires, diving into new social arenas is the best possible way to overcome a long-winded break up. If you feel you’ve lost your nightlife groove, just be patient, it takes a bit of experimentation to get it back. Start out easy. Hit a bar with a few friends on a Friday night and try to relax. If you’re out of the loop considering the do’s and don’t of bar behavior, lay back low and just try to enjoy yourself. You don’t need to throw out lines, pick up chicks and get black out drunk on your first night out in order to start moving on. Simply try to be present, enjoy your friends and feel out your newfound freedom.
Have a one night stand
We all have varying opinions on one night stands. But, whether you find them appalling or totally appealing, they are a known wake up call to the dormant bachelor inside you, that’s dying to get up and go out. The best way to enjoy a one night stand is to make sure the girl you’ve chosen wants nothing from you whatsoever. This way, you are not obliged to deal with following curtesy calls and you can also leave without spending the night. After a long term relationship, spending the night with a stranger can be a jarring and emotionally disturbing experience. That’s why, until you’ve again mastered your single existence, it is best to have your fun and take your leave, shower at home and go to sleep in your own bed. Upon waking, you’ll feel as though you had a beautiful dream, without the nightmarish morning after.
Host house parties
While we may immediately cringe when we think of playing host, not all house parties require aprons and extensive cleaning up afterwards. In fact, in the event that a one night stand is out of the question for you (i.e. you aren’t attracted to people who can’t have coherent conversations), you are more likely to meet new women worth your time in tighter social circles. Have a pot luck and provide the spiked punch. This way, you’re creating a fun environment, making new friends and widening your social circle, without having to tolerate the bar crowd or clean up your own kitchen. Win, win. And encourage your women friends to be generous with their guest list.
Broaden your horizons
If you share a life with someone, all sorts of lifestyle intricacies can become intertwined. An interest or hobby you may have had before your ex, now seems only to remind you of her and it feels as though this activity has been spoiled. Well, luckily the world has a whole lot to offer. Try your hand at picking up something new. There are activity-oriented programs and courses at local colleges that may remind you of things you’ve long been attempting to try, but never made time for. Now is that time. By expanding your scope of interests and meeting new people completely unrelated to your past life (and, therefore, relationship), you are beginning to build a new, strong foundation for yourself upon which to move forward and forget.