4. Be Careful with Pics
Not to sound like your high school health teacher, but remember that in the digital age, pictures are forever and spread like wildfire. No matter how proud you are of all that time spent at the gym, you probably don’t want to be on HotWebHunks.com (we just bought the url!). If your lady is exhibiting signs of being a crazy future cat-herder, definitely do not send her a picture… of anything. If you must, at least leave your face out of it.
No wonder Anthony Weiner got in so much trouble. That resolution is horrible.
5. Walk the Talk
You should never promise anything in a sext session that you can’t deliver in real life. Honesty counts, because if you’re b.s.-ing her, she’s going to find out eventually. Feel free to be really descriptive, as you’re only working with words—no vocal tonality, eye contact or hand motions. Chicks can be just as dirty as guys, but they generally also want a man with a mind. In other words, scintillatingly clever dirty talk will blow her mind.
6. Make It Happen
All that said, sexting is only about a half-step above self-pleasuring. You want to get her doing the real thing. If you two are far apart geographically, you’re just going to have to bring this thing to its logical conclusion and hope she’s interested later. But if you’re in the same city, it’s time to steer the conversation toward your, um, male needs. Frame it in terms of ‘loneliness’ rather than getting off. Then offer to go to her. Asking her to come to you isn’t so smooth, since no lady likes to feel like a call girl. At least not on the first date.
Editor’s note: Looking for more texting advice? Check out the Spotter playlist—a series of short videos with handy tips—below.
Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the owner and co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. The Art of Charm has an entire ebook dedicated to texting and sexting. You can find the book and more articles about texting at www.howtotextgirls.com. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook.
