Apple=Brad Pitt: Every one loves them. Men and Women agree it’s the best looking product out there and it only seems to get better with age. Apple upgraded to flash and Brad upgraded to Angelina (I prefer the old, Anniston that is)

Microsoft=Tom Cruise: They both were on the top of the world and it’s been all down hill since Katie and Vista. Microsoft stood on the couch on Oprah and yelled “I love Vista, I love Vista” and the whole world said “Ballmer, you are frickin nuts” Either way they both have enough cash to do whatever they want the rest of their lives.

Intel=Leonardo DiCaprio: They seem to be part of everything that comes out. Both are class acts that are the biggest players in the industry. They each signed on with big names in the past year, with Apple and Scorsese, and it led to huge publicity for both. Others want to take some of their roles by accepting less money but if you want the crowds to come you have to cast these two.

Exxon=Oprah Winfrey: They both make so much cash it’s ridiculous. The two most powerful and wealthiest in their areas. When they talk others listen. Even when they do something wrong it just seems to fade away and their stars keep shining as bright as ever.

Google=Tiger Woods: Everyone can pretend like they can beat them but it’s just not going to happen. Yeah, you might catch them on an off day but they are going to win a lot more than they are going to lose and at the end of the day they will still be the one on top of the player standings. They also made some hot acquisitions, YouTube and Tiger’s wife. The only difference between the two is one makes billions from advertisers and one only makes hundreds of millions.

Ford=Dick Clark: They were part of every American Family in the 50’s and the 60’s but they are barely seen in public in the last 5 years. Dick and Ford were known for their timeless looks and beautiful lines (or lack of them with Clark). Then came the stroke and bad design and the age started to show. It started with missing Times square and ended with the cancellation of the Taurus. The end is near

Celgene=James Gandolfini: The careers of both are based on only one product but man are those products good. A mob boss and a drug that is a derivative of a drug that causes birth defects don’t sound like things that would benefit society but they have. They both took something so bad and made it into something so good. We are going to find out after this year if they are one trick ponies.

Overstock=Cameron Diaz: If Diaz was a stock everyone would be shorting her as well. Like Overstock, there is only so much window dressing you can do until you realize that what is underneath is not that pretty. If you invest in either one of these you’ve thrown your money down the drain.

Akamai=Adriana Lima: They are the hottest and sexiest things on the Internet. They both make things go faster. Akamai speeds up the net and Youtube, and Adriana your heart. They both seem to be showing up on sites more and more. I would love to own a piece of both of them. Did I say that out loud?