The Douche Card is an elegant tool for the refined, well-groomed, and hilarious modern gentleman who wishes to discreetly and comically let his social underlings know exactly where they stand with him.  The stark design alludes to the understated masculinity befitting a man of distinction, and the all-lowercase lettering evokes contemporary classic poet e.e. cummings. 

Not ready to unsheathe your sword-cane?  Simply pull out your billfold from your herringbone overcoat and “avoid the confrontation with our glorious Douche Card. Simply hand it to the asshole in question and walk away. Problem solved. “ The cards are from the Orange32 design studio, and are available for the recession-friendly price of $5 for 25 cards.  [Buy it]