shower-infographic

At the end of every month I like to tabulate my income and expenses. It helps to know where the money comes from and where it goes. Periodically I put the pencil down when I realize I could skip one weekly gig if I also skipped going out drinking. Point being, numbers can be very instructive. Hence, this lovely chart (click to enlarge) from our friends at Reddit that proves: Girls are dirtier than boys. Pass it on.

Just look. Twice as many men shower once a day: 40.9 percent vs 19.3 percent of women. 13.6 percent of the total number of men surveyed shower more than 7 times a week. Only 5.3 percent of women do.

How can that be?!? You ask yourself, cursing at your girlfriend’s bottles in your shower. But yes. This data comes from a survey of the male-dominated Reddit: 375 men participated vs. only 187 women. That disparity is pretty much on par with Reddit, a site where the most popular post is still an in-depth interview with a guy who has two pricks.

This human centipede of data is a survey done on the site for the site, by a user of the site. “Got the data from redditors on /r/samplesize.” says redditor and survey enthusiast Anthonyd3ca, who collected and mashed up the data in this convenient infographic. After posting the survey he drummed it up himself in Adobe Illustrator.

Seriously, though, out of 560 shower users—19 of whom self-identified as “asexual”—the most faithful adherents are the menfolk. What is skewing the data? My totally non-scientific research shows that there are a majority of women at hot yoga who shower after. But what about in the gyms and swimming pools? I know an equal number of active and nonactive guys and girls. But the number of guys I know who bike ride to work without showering between the two has to drop the average. Right?

Are there dudes who shower before work and then go to the gym, bringing up the average?

“I understand there is a heavy imbalance with the demographics but I don’t have the resources to find survey participants within the demographics that are barely represented,” explains Anthonyd3ca. “This is not scientific data, as I only do surveys for fun. I am simply displaying the data I retrieved from the survey and making that info available for people to come to their own conclusions about.” See? Science.

The majority of those surveyed were college-aged (18 to 23). But I remember college being not a shower-heavy environ. Is this a generational thing, I wonder? Are the young clean-shaven dudes coming up through college now taking more showers? Clearly none of the late-twenties urban woodsmen types want to scrub the beard that much, right?

In a slightly less scientific poll, I asked a female friend who dated an older guy. “He would go through three pairs of underwear every day,” she said. “One pair of sitcom dad boxers after he showers for work. One supportive pair of jocky shorts for the gym. And another pair for when he leaves the gym after he showers.”

Wow. I hate doing laundry. But if I’m single in my 40s, maybe I’ll make time for it like Mr. Watergate Era himself, who somehow showers 12 goddamn times a week.

But why such a disparity between us and our sisters who seem to always be in the bathroom? If you ask comedian and YouTube star Jenna Mourey—a.k.a. Jenna Marbles—it’s because for women, showering is work: Get in there, shave a third to half of your body, shampoo several feet of hair and more until you come out and have to get busy with the turban of towels and short out the fusebox with the hair dryer.

As for guys? When I take a shower I’m out in a few minutes and it’s like hitting the reset button on my day.

So, in the name of handy charts that can end arguments: We salute you sir. We’ve reached out to Anthony3CA and will report back what else this fascinating guy reports.

“Also, many people mentioned that there weren’t enough people surveyed in my ‘Sexual Taboo’ survey,” he recently posted. “Since there was so much interest, I am opening up a new ‘Sexual Taboo’ survey with some adjustments that I took into consideration when reading through the comments.” If you’d like to participate, here is the link to the survey.

Also, note that .05 of those surveyed shower less than once a week. So there are 28 people showering less than once a week. I can only hope that is 14 smelly couples who have found love this Valentine’s Day.