posted
04/27/11
This just in: the lockout’s over. Also, Mel Kiper released his 82nd mock draft of 2011. And he still doesn’t know what’s going on. We do. With a little help from a guy who actually played: Joe freakin’ Theismann, former All-Pro QB for the Redskins and current spokesman for Surgex muscle and power generator. (You don’t see Surgex asking Kiper for spokesman-ship, do you?) For Part 1 of our four-part NFL draft preview, Joe helped us create this list of the six guys you’d better hope your team isn’t picking this Thursday. Bonus: We compare ’em to previous busts (click their names for shameful video evidence). Be afraid. Be very afraid.
UPDATE: Part 2 of our draft package, exploring the world of a Mr. Irrelevant
UPDATE: Part 3 of our draft package, the science of the NFL Draft
UPDATE: Part 4 of our draft package, Made Man’s All-Undrafted NFL Team
1. Cam Newton, QB, Auburn
Athletically, Newton is off the charts. Everybody knows that. But he’s got work to do throwing the ball, combined with inexperience (he played only one year at Auburn) and the difficulty of enduring an entire NFL season as a combination runner and passer. “If you’re basically a runner you’re going to be exposed to a lot more hits,” explains Theismann, who’s also concerned about Newton’s size. “You know, Cam’s 6’6”, 250. The thing that scares me is, do you become like JaMarcus Russell and get too big?”
Bust He Most Resembles: Vince Young (3rd pick, 2006)
2. Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri
Theismann likes the strong-armed Gabbert, but others question his pocket awareness and ability to make plays on third down (which is sort of a key down). And even Theismann concedes that in the wrong environment (read: Carolina), any QB could be doomed: “The biggest danger that a young quarterback gets himself into is a football team that needs a whole lot more than just you to be competitive. While the Detroit Lions were trying to fit in pieces around Joey Harrington, he got the ever-loving crap beaten out of him.”
Bust He Most Resembles: Alex Smith (1st pick, 2005)
3. Jon Baldwin, WR, Pittsburgh
Many project Baldwin as a late first-rounder. Yeah, the guy is big (6’4”, 228), sort of fast, and capable of the big play, but… he had five touchdowns in 13 games last year. “A little bit inconsistent,” observes Theismann. “Good-size guy, but it’s more than just size. The whole thing about that position is consistency. The one thing that you have to be is consistent when it comes to catching the football. It’s one thing to make great catches. It’s another thing to be consistent making catches.”
Bust He Most Resembles: Charles Rogers (2nd pick, 2003)
4. Colin Kaepernick, QB, Nevada
Some pundits are touting this guy as a legitimate first-rounder. But if you ask us, Kaepernick’s victory over Boise State last fall is going to be the highlight of his football career. He’s got good speed and he’s rangy as hell, but the NFL isn’t a who’s-got-the-longest-stride contest. “I’ve watched a lot of Nevada football this year,” says Theismann. “And I just wasn’t necessarily really impressed with the way he threw the football.”
Bust He Most Resembles: Akili Smith (3rd pick, 1999)
5. John Clay, RB, Wisconsin
John Clay is a big dude—6’1”, 248 pounds—and he was a beast for the Badgers, running for more than 1,000 yards last year and 3,400 yards in his three-year career (how many of those were acquired while running up the score for Coach Bret Bielema, we can’t say). The only problem is, heavies out of Wisconsin aren’t always such a safe bet. “He’s a big pounder, which doesn’t always translate to the NFL,” notes Theismann. “He reminds you of Ron Dayne. Now there was sort of a semi-bust situation.”
Bust He Most Resembles: Ron Dayne (11th pick, 2000)
6. Ryan Mallett, QB, Arkansas
There are so many questions, rumors and innuendos surrounding Mallett, he’s like a man of mystery in some Hollywood thriller. Or some Hollywood comedy. At any rate, some movie where one character is like: “There is one thing you should know about Ryan… but I can’t tell you. I’ll just say this: it’s not good.” There are alcohol questions, character questions, and he’s super tall (6’7”), which limits his mobility. “Ryan, he scares me a little bit,” says Theismann. “He doesn’t really look that accurate once he starts to move. He’s a little bit like a Derek Anderson.” Who’s not exactly the most composed cat.
Bust He Most Resembles: Derek Anderson (213th pick, 2005, but come on, we needed to include that clip.)
