These are from Rusty. Thanks as always. I have added my own in italics

These are the laws of the natural universe:
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
#2 The only socket missing is the one you need
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bath Law: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Lines: When you walk IN the grocery store, there’s never anyone at the checkout.
The item you buy costs $1 more because you forgot your “member” card.
Inverse Hair Dryer Law: You’re sure you hear the phone ringing in the background, until you turn the hair dryer off. (if you use a hairdryer and trade you are a gay trader, not that anythings wrong with that though.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Or when you wore you’re Elmer Fudd pajamas to do a quick run to pick up a Wall Street Journal.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. or vice versa
Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Natural Attraction: If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach, the family of five will set up right next to you.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Here are mine:

If a stock falls like a brick while you own it, it most certainly will rebound once you’ve sold it.

A “fat finger” trade that you didn’t mean to make will undoubtedly lose you money even though it should be a 50/50.

Your internet connection always moves slowest during a trade execution on a stock going against you