Some people think when it comes to technology, the smaller, sleeker, and subtler the better. Then, there are those people who like to be ironic. The former group of people drive Maseratis, and own tres chic iPod docks.
The latter group drive souped-up 1985 Yugo GVs, don’t watch TV but regularly seek out Vaudeville shows, and listen to music on this: the iVictrola iPod Amplifier. Whichever group you fall into, you’ll have to admit it’s pretty cool–looking and sounding. It works like any other iPod docking station, only it doesn’t work on batteries, electrical outlets, or solar power. And herein lies the rub: though it looks antique, this technology actually appears more advanced than what everyone and their mothers are picking up at the local Best Buy. The iVictrola iPod Amplifier works completely on self-sustained acoustic amplification. So just plug your iPod or iPhone into the hand-carved walnut base and press play. The “horn” piece is crafted from metal that maximizes amplification. Works like a charm. At $400, it’s a bit pricey, but you’ll be saving money on batteries and your electric bill, so… You have that going for you. You can find out more about the iVictrola iPod Amplifier here.
Remember when you were a kid, it was always a chore to get in the tub and scrub down? Hearing mom filling that tub for you was like marching blindfolded to a firing squad. Bathtime was the antithesis of fun.
BUT, odds are if your mother told you you could take your bath in, say… Ecto Cooler, you would have been all about it. But you’re older now, and don’t drink (as much) Ecto Cooler. But beer in the form of soap. Booya. The people at Vat19, self-proclaimed “purveyors of curiously awesome products” have come up with the soap for the true beer lover. It’s made from all natural ingredients and cold processed–which allows to soap to retain all of its moisturizing glycerin, keeping your skin silky smooth. You can choose from five diverse but tasty beers: Corona, Guinness, Red Stripe, Sam Adams Boston Lager, or Stella Artois. And, no, you won’t step out of the shower smelling like you just played eighteen sloppy rounds of Flip Cup. They’re all light and refreshing (although if there is a Natural Light one made, we can make no promises). Also, the jury is out on whether eating these will get you drunk faster, but we encourage you to explore. Each bar only costs $4.95 and can be purchased here.
Midgets have never had an easy row to hoe. And, now, they’ve got mascots standing in their way. Two tribes from the edge of sportsdom are clashing on the gridiron, on the court, in parking lots, and, really, anywhere they meet.
And you’re in on the action. 5 little people take on 5 normal-sized mascots in a series of 30 ridiculous competitions, and the overall winner of this mad competition is awarded a million dollar prize. Self-described as “Borat meets Jackass,” “Midgets versus Mascots” takes the intoxicated fever dreams of every young man’s fight fantasy and puts them on film. It’s not just random, hobo-level midgets and no-name mascots from the middle of nowhere, either. Perhaps you’ve heard of Scottie Pippen. Perhaps you’d like to see him pummel a little person in rage. Certainly, that’s something we can get behind. The piece de resistance, though, comes in the comically cute leader of the little people (both culturally and in the film), the one and only Gary Coleman. Watch the trailer here and order your copy today.
Let’s face it. Every guy in the world wants to be the Cool Dad. Nobody pictures themselves becoming the sweatpants/worn-New-Balance-sneakers/Russel-athletic-tank-top-wearing father, but it’s hard.
For some of you, this might seem to be a problem for the distant future, around the same time our sun burns out. But a lot of you are probably going through this very dilemma right now or soon will be. Here’s a little help: The Rubicon Rucksack by (don’t judge a book by its cover; or a company by its incredibly effeminate name) Petunia Pickle Bottom. Still with us? Good. Fancying itself as the foremost in “baby chic”, the good people at Petunia Pickle Bottom have fashioned a bag for fathers, shown here in a manly brown buffalo leather (also available in black), that is a lot better than carrying a package of Huggies on your side. In it, you can fit all your dad equipment: diapers, bottles or juice boxes, stuff to take care of those nasty boo boos, and even some Leather Valet stroller clips. But, when it’s time to just be you, aka Baby is nowhere in sight or shouting distance, the bag doubles as a laptop carrier, with a place for your cell-phone, as well as tons of other storage. So whether you’re going to work, a dinner date, or a play date, you’re all set with this slung over your shoulder. You can check it out here.
This is it. This is the game-changer. The Manhattan Project of snowball artillery has arrived, and it will be the weapon that thousands of innocent snow-covered faces will wish could somehow be un-invented.
The Snowball Blaster from Hammacher Schlemmer can launch balls of snow at targets up to 50 feet away, giving the wielder a devastating advantage in neighborhood winter warfare. Arms? Hands? Ha! Your enemies are using their own limbs to try and peg you with an icy snowball? This is like fighting cavemen with laser guns. When you pull out your Snowball Blaster you can be sure they’ll be on their backs making snow angels before anybody can even come close to hitting you. Just load it up with up to three snowballs at a time, aim, and pull the trigger. The cold-resistant plastic and the slingshot mechanism will ensure a dead on hit with one the most perfectly shaped snowballs. While your combatants are scrambling with frozen hands to shape more ammunition, you’ll be gunning down mofos Stallone in Cliffhanger. So arm yourself before next snowfall. The gun is $29.95 and as of right now you don’t need a license to buy one, but that will probably change soon. Find it here.
Burton is the BMW of snowboards, and all other things snow related. And so, if surfing down a mountain of white powder on a very thin piece of plastic is your winter sport of preference, you’re probably familiar with them.
But for a while now, Burton has been trying to reinvent the wheel (figuratively, although maybe they should literally; those wheel things kind of suck in snow) and reinterpret the entire snowboarding experience. With the Burton Method Snowboard, it looks like they may have actually pulled it off. What makes this different from your average snowboard, you ask? They’ve come up with something they’re calling the “Infinite Channel” system, which sounds like some sort of religious TV station, but is actually a new design for the snowboard in which a person attached to the binding on the side of their boots as opposed to the bottom. This brings the rider closer to the snowboard itself and allows for a smoother ride and more control. Even cooler, the core of the board is made from a special patented titanium alloy that is 90% air, making it one of the lightest boards on the market. You will fly on this thing. Trees will be uprooted from the sonic boom of you breaking the sound barrier down that mountain. If that’s something that excites you instead of frightening you, get this board. You can expect to pay $1500 for this baby. Check out the sierra snowboard.com review here.
Nothing beats getting a fire going, curling up with your favorite fine wine (perhaps a Pinot or a Shiraz), plugging the cork into your laptop’s USB port, and utilizing the 2 GB of data you’ve previously saved on it.
Can an evening at home get any better? Perhaps if a lady friend is present, but all guys know that on some rare nights the Internet and some videos of idiots getting injured are fine substitutes for female company. Besides the obvious perk of feeling like a suave secret agent (although you’re probably less likely to have saved some evil mastermind’s plans to conquer the civilized world on there than, say, the latest Excel Spreadsheets from work, but you can always use your imagination) the makers of the USB Wine Cork have realized that mostly everything in life goes better with alcohol particularly. So if you’re going to be perusing the interwebs and doing some DLing, why not uncork a bottle and see how much funnier a guy skateboarding off his roof and his friend kicking him in the nuts when he lands is when you’re a few glasses deep. The 2 GB USB Wine Cork goes for $52 and can be found here.
Saddleback Leather – purveyor of almost ludicrously high-quality leather products – wants to give you one of their signature bags: the $500-$600 Saddleback Briefcase. If it reminds you of Indiana Jones, you’re not alone.
We’re certainly in the same boat (biplane?), and so are some of the customers as the fan photos on their site suggest. Well, as you know, a giveaway is just fine with us, and to win it, all you have to do is became a fan of us on Facebook (you can’t win if you’re not in our fans list). Go to our profile, and leave a comment about what you would use yours for. Think about where you’d go, what misadventures you’d be having, who you’d have with you, and (of course), what you’d be hauling in your Saddleback Leather briefcase. The best answer gets the best leather bag that money can buy (but, in this case, won’t have to). Even if you don’t have the best answer, though, you’ve still got a shot. First and second runner’s up will receive their Passport Wallet and studded, Leather Mousepad respectively. So add us on Facebook and tell us your story now!
It’s that time of year where there is bound to be snow on the ground. And you know what that means. One of your idiot friends is going to make a snowball and hit you in the face with it as a “goof”. Ha-ha.
That’s when you go to your trunk and take one of these babies out: the Snofling, the ultimate in snowball warfare. It looks harmless–almost like a wiffle ball bat. But the Snofling is capable of so much more. Shaped like a trumpet, just stab some fresh snow with the open end, and when you pick it up a perfect snowball is formed inside, no cold hands necessary. Fastest snow flinger south of the North Pole. And as long as there is snow all around you, you can rapid-fire these things continuously. Oh, and when you blow in the skinny end, the Snofling makes a party noise (read: battle trumpet). Twelve of these things only costs $16, so you should get a few hundred, head to a valley of fresh snow with as many friends, and Braveheart the F out of each other with your Snoflings. You can order them here.
Jail House Fire Hot Sauce advertises itself as “the only hot sauce created by inmates.” And, really, do you need any more reason beyond that to buy it? You’re a man, as you know.
If you think you’re the toughest guy on the block while you’re slathering your chicken with some TGIFriday’s weak sauce, then you better think again. Now, if you’re cooking with some sauce made by straight up convicts…you are in the contention for manliest man in your circle. These guys don’t really have much else going on there in prison, so you know they’ve probably spent plenty of time perfecting this stuff. And us spice lovers will reap the benefits! The Jail House Fire Hot Sauce comes in three flavors: Original, Smoke, and the aptly named No Escape, which is their hottest sauce. Additionally, all profits made from the sauce go to equipment and supplies for inmate programs. The bottles go from $3.00 to $7.00 (plus shipping) and can all be found on their website.
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