In the ever-expanding 3-ring circus run by Judd Apatow, classical masculinity is being eschewed for the schlubby, dopey, omega male. If you’re unfamiliar with the terminology, there are three types of men in this world: alphas, betas, and omegas.
It’s pretty much like a wolf pack. Alpha men are typically type-A personalities. They’re driven, aggressive, and ambitious and they tend to be professionally and personally successful. They’re driven to succeed and exceed expectations. These are the captains of industry, professional athletes, and world leaders. Beta men are more content to stay the course and “just get by.” These are the guys that are middle managers that need some management themselves. They don’t innovate or create, they grind it out and hope for the best. They tend to be moderately successful in both personal and professional realms.
Then, there is the omega man. A despondent, a-directional person that is apathetic about their life to the point of self-sacrifice. These are your failed musicians and painters (and definitely writers) that work sorrowfully at some night shift job they hate but are too apathetic about to change. They’re becoming romanticized in popular cinema (here, here, here, here, and here), and that needs to stop. Here’s how to eschew your omega-ness.
This box set of the entire series of the iconic 80s action series, “The A-Team” does a lot of things right. Not the least of which is squeeling into your living room in a van-shaped box of kickassery.
A-Team: The Complete series is a collection of 25 DVDs spanning the entire five seaons of this acclaimed classic. Follow these five, roguish Vietnam veterans as they travel about looking for people that are in trouble, who have nobody else to help them, and who might be looking to find…The A-Team. Watch Mr. T’s, a.k.a. B.A. Baracus’s glinting, chest-bejeweled justice rain down on evil-doers across the globe. See Murdock take to the skies with a vengeance. Envy Face as he charms his way into or out of any situation. Watch one of the Colonel’s plans come together at the tip of a smoking stogey. And how can you go wrong with Amy Allen? Do it all for just $90. Buy it here.
There’s plenty of useful things you can do on Twitter. You can post pictures of your hot wife, you can keep up with your favorite comedian, you can market yourself relentlessly, but you just can’t get in 9 holes. Or, you couldn’t until now.
Twirdie is the first Twitter-based golf game in the entire universe, and it’s actually incredibly addictive. It’s a golf game that measures the Tweets from just the last twenty seconds for whatever word you choose. Then, based on the frequency of that word, it creates a shot of varying strength for you. Confused? It is a bit. But, to be honest, the designers (students at Parson’s school of design), but it best: …” the game begs you to consider creative words that are based on time of day, trends, or even local events. At 12 noon, "lunch" might be a popular mid-swing, but at late night "taco" is a dependable putter.” It’s completely free, so head over to twirdie.com and tee up.
What happens when you take a John Hughsian style story line of misfits and outcasts, put them together in detention, and let their petty grievances and social differences mix and then, ultimately, distill into personal growth?
“The Breakfast Club” happens. Then, what if you add murder and evil spirits? When you add that, you get the macabre Hughsian version of the above-mentioned classic viewed through a blood-colored lense: “Bad Kids Go to Hell.” BKGTH features an archetypical cast of 6 characters, each tinted with too much money, too many drugs, too much ambition, or, most interestingly, too much sex drive. The resulting antics are not only splatterhouse-style fun and funny, but complicated and fairly balanced from a contextual point of view. Penned by Matt Spradlin and Chris Allen, and illustrated by the immensely talented and prolific Anthony Vargas, “Bad Kids Go To Hell” is a quick, fun, 132-page read for anybody that loved 80s teen comedies, went to private school (or hated the kids that did), or just plain likes comics. Buy it here.
Let the glorious light shine down (read: across the table) forever (read: until the wax softens. For too long non-edible candles have been taking up valuable table real estate that could’ve otherwise been bacon’d. No more.
The edible bacon fat candle is an illuminating confection created and distributed by David Burkes Primehouse in the Windy City. The aromatic candle stands at a modest 2 inches, is created from rendered bacon fat and a vegetable base wick. It fills the air with the smell of simmering bacon, and after warming, can be drizzled on any of the offerings at David Burke’s. However, if you’re not close enough to Chicago to give it a whirl, you can order your own bacon candles for home use. Just call the butcher shop at (312) 660-6000. They’re $5 apiece plus shipping and handling.
Tiger is good at a lot of things. He can hit the long ball, he can get up and down, he’s great at the bump and run. He handles his wood with aplomb and his putter with grace. These jokes doing anything for you?
Anyway, one thing he is terrible at is cheating. But, unlike getting around the golf course, you can get around town with a little more subtlety than Tiger now, thanks to TigerText. TigerText is an iPhone application developed with cheaters in mind (hey, it happens to everybody sooner or later). It works like this: you text as many and varied racy and incendiary tidbits to your beloved mistress as your little heart desires. She texts back and all is well. Then, at a time period you designate, all traces of those texts (and your phone log) will be deleted by TigerText. It’ll be deleted from your mistress’s phone, too, so she can’t blackmail you once you’re famous. What if you want to go back and reminisce? They’ve got you covered there, too. All the deleted information is then stored in TigerText, where your nagging old lady can never find it. Download it today, right here.
Nothing’s worse than hopping under a shower only to find out the water didn’t warm quite as fast as you thought. All of a sudden it feels like you’re floating in the Atlantic and Leo is telling you he’ll never let go.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have some sort of servant to test the water before you got in there? But then, who would want that terrible, terrible job? It’s like testing the king’s food for poison–if your job is necessary, then you’re dead. Here’s a solution: the LED Color Changing Shower Head. The LED lights will change according to the temperature of the water so you can see what you’re getting yourself into. Green is freezing, blue is a little warmer, red is hot, and blinking red means it may melt your skin. Aren’t you glad you were warned first? And if you’re not worried about water temperature, you can change the color to whatever you prefer, to set the mood if you will. You can even set the light to change automatically with a fader. And so you don’t have to reach up to switch buttons, it comes equipped with a remote that you can hold in your hand, a lot easier than a bar of soap. Beset of all the LED Color Changing Shower Head is only $12.94 and can be found here.
What guy doesn’t appreciate a good Tarantino flick? It’s almost a right of passage to be able to quote the “Like a Virgin” discussion from Reservoir Dogs, or any Sam Jackson line from Pulp Fiction, especially “Royale with cheese.”
And lets not forget Tarantino’s most recent stroke of brilliance “Inglourious Basterds”, which is up for Best Pic this year at the Oscars. Yes, it is a proud feat to own the entire Tarantino collection on DVD (and most of their soundtracks aren’t bad either), but how about some unique tribute artwork on your walls? Ibraheem Yousseff supplies just that. Anybody can go down to Spencer’s Gifts and pick up the famous and much replicated "Pulp Fiction" poster. Yousseff provides some originality, almost in a minimalist fashion, taking iconic images from the Tarantino flicks and portraying them around the title. For example, staying with Pulp Fiction, this movie’s poster sports a chainsaw, a hammer, a katana sword, and a baseball bat. In other words, “Zed’s dead, baby.” It’s stuff like this that only the true fan will recognize and appreciate. The posters come in two sizes, a smaller one that will cost you $32, and a larger one that will set you back $95. If you were a true fan, you’d buy them all. You can find them here.
It’s hard these days to find time to work out with so many great video games out there and pizza places to sample. Or maybe you’re just out of the house a lot, at the office, or spend ridiculous amount of time stuck in traffic.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be doing something productive in that time? Wouldn’t it be nice to get a few reps in for your biceps? Lifting your Egg McMuffin to your face doesn’t count. Well this guy Sang hoon Lee decided it would be ideal to have some portable weights that were easy enough to carry that you could take them anywhere. Then he took it a step further. The Digital Portable Dumbbell is slim and easy to handle, and, get this, can digitally change its own weight. Just set the amount of pounds you’re fit to lift and a small ball inside the dumbbell will adjust its revolutions accordingly, changing the weight of the thing. Yeah, we’re not sure how that works either… If they were called Magical Portable Dumbbells, we wouldn’t think twice. Regardless, you can now carry any amount of weight wherever you want without hassle–even while playing those video games or eating that pizza. It’s the best of both worlds. Find more about the Digital Portable Dumbbell here.
Ever walk into a library or a coffee shop with your laptop, open it up, and realize you are one of about eighteen identical-looking laptops in about a twenty foot radius? It doesn’t even matter if you’re a Mac or PC.
There’s somebody else in there who you could easily mix up your indistinguishable laptops with, which would be completely inconvenient, and perhaps a great inciting incident for that screenplay you’ve been meaning to write. Regardless, here’s a chance to discern yourself form the rest, and in way that keeps is classy (you were thinking writing your name on a piece of masking tape and sticking it on there, weren’t you?) Iamhumannow.com is offering a Classic Collection of laptop covers that includes four “timeless textile patterns and weaves.” You know the easily recognizable, nothing-you-haven’t-seen-before styles that would be “playing it safe” apparel-wise, but since they’re on your laptop will be totally bad-ass. These are the Red Plaid (pictured), the Glen Plaid, the Denim, and Micro Gingham. This is classy stuff; you’re going to be turning some heads with these. Each goes for $30.00 and can be found here.
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