Some Hollywood stars hit the jackpot overnight, and some just plain grind it out. In the 10 years since portraying “Insane Bowie Fan” in Almost Famous, Nick Swardson has churned through bit parts, TV movies, a recurring role on Reno 911! and his own Comedy Central series to a big-time big-screen role…as a wannabe porn star with a tiny wang. Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star opens next weekend, but it’s never too early to check out this Man of Moment’s wisdom regarding Nyquil buzzes, co-star Christina Ricci’s deepest secret and the pitfalls of romancing women with jokes. Read and learn, kids. Read and learn.

MADE MAN: What’s one thing you never leave home without?
NICK SWARDSON: My eyes. I never leave home without them. I need them every day, religiously.

MM: What’s your drink of choice at the end of a busy day?
NS: Anything with alcohol. Lysterine. Nyquil on the rocks. Just give me a buzz and I’m happy!

MM: You have, um, interesting hair in Bucky Larson. Got any hair advice?
NS: I wash my hair with jokes. I get liquid jokes, I wash it in there and my hair comes out hilarious.

MM: Got a fitness tip?
NS: Focus on your diet. Because if you eat well, then you can kinda do everything else, like drink beer. You will feel better about yourself and you can justify eating and drinking the bad stuff as a result.

MM: What’s the best advice you’ve heard from a woman?
NS: Get out of my tree in front of my bedroom. She saved me from a lifetime of jail! Just kidding! And my mother said: stop making all those faces and stop laughing and farting. I didn’t take her advice and that was the best thing I ever did.

MM: What don’t we know about your sexy co-star, Christina Ricci?
NS: She’s made entirely out of wood.

MM: Even with movie and TV deals, you still do standup. What’s your energy secret?
NS: I don’t do as much standup as I used to. I have the Comedy Central show and I have to generate so much energy and content towards that. But I’ll still think of jokes every once in a while and jump on stage when I can. I’m way more exhausted! But I’ll always find the energy for standup.

MM: What’s ‘funny’ to you? And what’s the secret to telling a good joke?
NS: Timing. It’s something that you are either born with or not. You just can’t teach it. You’ll see in Bucky Larson. Christina Ricci, Don Johnson, Stephen Dorff—these are dramatic actors not known for their humor, and yet the movie is hilarious because they have great comedic timing.

MM: Does being funny make it easier to pick up women?
NS: Yeah, but it kinda makes it harder to sleep with them! They like hanging out with you because you are funny. But then when you want to take it to the next level, they’re like, ‘just tell me that joke again.’ Or ‘talk about that one story again.’ And you’re like: ‘No, let’s do the other thing! We’ve already covered all the jokes!’ So it’s a double-edged sword.

MM: It’s taken you a decade to go from “Insane Bowie Fan” in Almost Famous to the lead in Bucky Larson. What’s your number-one secret for sticking with a dream?
NS: Shave your pubic hair.

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