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Most porn stars make one film and never go before a camera again. Ron Jeremy, on the other hand, has starred in over 2,000 adult features, directed another 281 and boasts numerous appearances in mainstream cinema, television and video games. What man couldn’t die happy with a resume like that? Mr. Jeremy has moved into a new field: rum running. Ron de Jeremy Rum and Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum allow you to channel your favorite porn star philosopher while drinking out at the bar. He’s also got an epic moustache for Movember inspiration. And plenty of advice.

MADE MAN: What’s the thing you never leave the house without?
RON JEREMY: A moustache. [Laughs] No, my phone.

MM: Do you have a favorite app?
RJ: I don’t have any. My phone doesn’t even take pictures. I can barely text. My phone is so old I can use it for Morse code, smoke signal and semaphore, that’s about it.

MM: What’s your drink of choice after a long day?
RJ: Coca-Cola and Ron de Jeremy dark rum or pineapple juice and Ron de Jeremy Spiced Rum with a little coconut. Then I go around the house wearing a kerchief and an eyepatch yelling, “Arrrrrgh!”

MM: What grooming, style or fitness thing can a guy do to feel great all day?
RJ: If you want to show off your schmeckle to a girl, get a shaver and get the pubic hairs off the shaft. All porn stars do that. It adds an inch to your penis. I tell this to guys and get phone calls years later thanking me.

MM: What’s the best advice you ever got about women and who gave it to you?
RJ: People try and guess what age is the right age to tell their kids about the birds and the bees, but it’s not about age. You tell them when they ask. That’s what my sister taught me.

MM: How does a guy become a porn legend and not just another face in the crowd?
RJ: By going mainstream. If you only do porn you’re not going to be famous, you’ll just be another porn star. TV, music videos, VH1, E!… that’s what gets you out there. If you want to be a porn legend just do a lot of porn. If you want to be a real legend, a pop icon, do the mainstream stuff.

MM: Do you have any safe sex tips?
RJ: It’s nothing really hard to figure out, it’s just a rubber. Knowing your partner always works well too. In my industry we all know each other, so we know when someone has a problem.

MM: What can porn teach guys about being better men?
RJ: It won’t teach you about being a better man. It will teach you about being a better lover. You become a better lover because you learn all these points of view and different techniques.

MM: What’s your best sex tip?
RJ: The late, great comedian Sam Kinison said that if I could learn how to eat good pussy I wouldn’t have to give away everything I own every five years.

MM: How do you kiss with a moustache?
RJ: Like you kiss without one. Girls love mine, it tickles.

MM: Porn stars can keep it up forever. What’s your secret?
RJ: When you feel like you’re getting a little too close to climaxing, you shift gears. Stop thinking about the beautiful girl you’re with and start thinking about anything to get you out of what you’re doing. It takes a lot of concentration.

MM: Have you had a prostate exam?
RJ: [Laughs] Are you crazy? You’d be an absolute idiot not to. Modern science has given us colonoscopies and prostate exams. Now we can catch a problem before it happens. Why wait?

MM: How did your weight gain impact your career?
RJ: I might have lost a little work because of it. I still work a lot, because guys relate to an average-looking guy. I looked pretty good when I was younger. The problem is I got careless because I just like food so damn much. It’s the hardest addiction to kick because if you’re addicted to booze or cocaine you can just never do them. If you’re addicted to food you’re stuck. You can’t just get rid of it. Most importantly, it makes your penis look smaller, which is downright depressing.

MM: Why did you leave teaching? Do you ever think about going back?
RJ: Yes. I loved it. I dream about being an older man in a rocking chair teaching at some upstate New York school.

MM: Did you ever have a “dark night of the soul”? How did you deal with it?
RJ: I guess everybody does to some extent. I’ve debated the industry all over the country and half the world. I’ve lectured at Oxford in England and Trinity College Dublin and all over America and Canada. It helps me solidify things I believe in. There were times when I would wonder how the Lord above would think about porn. I realized there was no force on this earth that would have a problem with consenting adults having consensual sex that other consenting adults watch. A lot of research shows that porn does not lead to deviant sexual behavior. There’s actually a positive effect, where a potential criminal will watch a movie, diddle, climax and not commit a crime. So porn may actually be therapeutic. If there were any evidence that porn created serial rapists or killers or whatever, I wouldn’t continue to argue in favor of porn.

MM: Do you have any parting words of wisdom?
RJ: I attribute a lot of my success to never having done any drug of any sort. I save my money.

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