• Mary Read

Badass Occupation: Pirate Chick

This gal gets on this list because most guys couldn’t hold her jock. She was one of only two chicks to ever be convicted of piracy. The other, Anne Bonny, happened to be her BFF. Her mom started dressing her as a boy when she was young, so Mary went with it and joined the military. But shooting people must have been ho-hum, because she bolted. Shortly after, she was on a ship that was overtaken by pirates, so she did what we all would do: she became one. She still remained dressed as a dude when she joined up with Anne Bonny and her boyfriend, "Calico Jack". This was fine until Bonny wanted a piece of her man meat and Calico got all pissed and wanted to slice Read's throat.

To save her life in this “Days of Pirates’ Lives” soap opera, Read had to let everyone in on the secret of her female genitalia. All the pirates then accepted her with open arms until she was captured and tried for pirate stuff. She died in prison with her middle pirate finger raised high at the establishment.

Bonus Badass Fact: Saved her boyfriend when he was challenged to a duel by a superior pirate...by dueling with the man first. And winning.

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