Yes, we know: Relinquishing control between the sheets can be a rather daunting notion. But contrary to what you might think, you can discover a lot of new pleasure when she takes charge of her orgasm.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean whips and chains, and you don’t have to turn into a whimpering puppy. But using phrases like “I want you to use me for your pleasure before mine” or “I want you to control my mouth with your pussy” can release her inner sex goddess.

Here are eight reasons why.

1. Communication, Intimacy, and Trust
By expressing your desire to become a student to her pleasure, you will open up all the lines of communication. With the floodgates open, intimacy and trust will follow. You won’t even mind the wet spot on your bed because your eye contact will be too strong to notice.

2. Builds Her Confidence
Concentrating on her orgasm, she gains a positive body image during certain positions. She’s no longer concerned about how her tummy jiggles while bouncing up and down. It’s about her, not your image of her.

3. Makes You a Better Listener
Women adore a man that listens, and what better way is there to learn when sex is involved?

4. Get Her Off
Once she trusts that her orgasm turns you on more than your own, she’ll be able to tell you the exact rhythms to make her explode. Tip: Ask her to masturbate in front of you because you’re not worthy to touch her until she shows you how she likes it. Take note to how she touches her own clit. Zig zag? Circular? Fast/slow? Pay attention! Sit back in awe of her spread eagle glory.

5. Imagination and Better Sexting
Now that’s she’s reached sexual utopia, you can feel more confident telling her your fantasies over text. Maybe she’ll even welcome a dick pic now and then—and respond in kind.

6. Better Masturbation
With all of those hot images, you both can get it on and give yourself some intimate self love.

7. Male G-Spot
With the lines of communication open and trust rooted, you’ll be able to feel more comfortable about exploring your body and turning a taboo act into both your pleasures.

8. Multiple Orgasms for Everyone!
’Nuff said.

Even if a relationship doesn’t evolve from this exchange, you both have left each other better than you found one another. She is left knowing she is desirable and you are left with a spank bank full of memories—and a treasure trove of invaluable experience for next time…

Photo: iStock/g-stockstudio