10 Best Dirty Pickup Lines

Peruse this list of the ten best dirty pickup lines at your own peril. Dirty pickup lines are like dirty jokes, told to the right person at the right time, they can be funny icebreakers, but told to the wrong person at the wrong time they can just be offensive smut.  Judge your audience carefully before you go with a dirty pickup line.  Just remember, if you do decide to go with a dirty pickup line, there's always the possibility that you'll offend her and never get a second chance. If you're willing to try your luck with a dirty pickup line, make sure you go with a good one. Here are ten of the best dirty pickup lines.

1. "How about you sit in my lap, and then we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?" It's always good to make your intentions clear.
   
2. "You just think this is my thigh." Indicate your leg while you say it. Let's face it, size does matter.
3. "Care to try an Australian kiss? It's just like a French kiss, but down under." In two simple sentences you indicate a knowledge of both geography and oral sex.
4. "You must work at Subway, because you just gave me a footlong." The two of you can bitch about that annoying song for the rest of the night.
5. "I'm going to kiss you on the lips. Then I'll move up to your belly." Indicating you're wiling to perform oral sex can only increase your value as a potential sexual partner in her eyes.
6. "Nice legs. When do they open?" Crass, but funny.
   
7. "Are those real?" Sometimes the direct approach is the correct approach. Maybe she'll give you the opportunity to find out.
8. "Want to play lion tamer? Open your mouth, and I'll throw you the meat." Every woman loves a guy who loves... cats.
9. "Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?" This one is the most likely to go horribly wrong. Think long and hard before suggesting a woman is a prostitute. You might want to check for a badge too.
10. "I hope you're not a vegetarian, because I have some prime meat." The dirty little secret is that woman are interested, very interested, in your meat, if you're her type.

Just because a woman responds to your dirty pickup line doesn't mean she's easy. She may just like dirty jokes, or the way you say them.