10 Best Natural Boobs

By: William Gish

Break Studios Contributing Writer

In an effort to keep you abreast of the latest issues, we bring you the 10 best natural boobs. If mammary serves us correctly, you enjoy an article that’s milked for all it’s worth. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of man’s great labor, coitus. If you disagree, don’t get nippy; come up with your own list to compliment ours.

  1. Scarlet Johansson – Scarlet Johansson is the proud owner of the best natural sugarplums. The diminutive actress’ chest candy is so divine any man would be willing to sacrifice his teeth to gorge on their natural fructose. If famed Renaissance playwright Christopher Marlowe were alive today, he would have penned the following in their honor : “Were these the tatas that launch'd a thousand ships, and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?”
  2. Rosario Dawson – Oliver Stone’s “Alexander” is an interminable three hours. The film has a number of long-winded historical monologues, the least passionate gay sex this side of “American History X,” and a heinous bleach job that makes Colin Farrell’s hair look like a tuft of blond sack fuzz. Yet all of this is worth that fleeting glimpse of the Himalayan twin peaks that are Rosario Dawson's contribution to the ten best natural boobs.
  3. Monica Bellucci- Italian film star Monica Bellucci possesses an elegant and sensual beauty. Her supple sweet rolls rise and fall on her chest like the gently rolling hills of her homeland. Beautiful and natural, Bellucci’s bubbies are the perfect compliment to the superbly accented landscape of her physique. Or, to wax less poetical, she got some fine ass titties.
  4. Salma Hayek – ¡Qué chichona! Méxicana Salma Hayek is a silky temptress who uses her Montezumas to startling effect as both the vampire stripper in “From Dusk to Dawn” and titular bisexual painter in “Frida.” In a country where one man is purported to own all cell phone technology, Hayek’s natural satellites provide impressive coverage
  5. Eva Mendes – Eva Mendes’ natural dirigibles are some of the best breasts around. They’re perky, brown, round, and not too big. Like all the best medium sedans, Mendes’ tatties handle well, have suitable storage space for one, and get great gas mileage, meaning they’ll still work like a charm when their larger counter parts have gone the way of the buffalo.
  6. Scarlett Pain – Porn starlet Scarlett Pain has more in common with Johansson than a name: like the other Scarlet, Pain is a petite cutie with an exemplary set of natural hemispheres. The tattooed redhead spends her days humming, humping, and hammering fist-thick citadels of manliness. As such, it’s a professional advantage to her to have a larger surface area on which to receive heaping helpings of nut blast.
  7. Katy Perry – Katy Perry sings airy pop music that perfectly compliments the flotation devices strapped to her chest. Though there has been speculation that the bisexual songstress added a little synthetic stuffing to her angel cakes, from where we’re sitting, they look delicious, and delectably natural. Perry is the proud owner of some of the ten best natural breasts around.
  8. Naturi Naughton – Actress Naturi Naughton’s contribution to the ten best natural breasts is nothing short of gangsta'. The compact Naughton plays Lil Kim in 2009’s “Notorious” with aplomb, aided and abetted by East Coast overdose junk in the truck and some firm-ass woofers. 
  9. Maria Ozawa – The stereotype is that Japanese women are small, mousy, submissive, and flat. Not Maria Ozawa. Oh no. This Japanese porn star is half French Canadian, and the proof is in her pronounced curves and inflated fun bags. Ozawa's top-ten caliber natural jujus, coupled with her tendency to dress like a school girl and take a parade of ball squirt on her face, makes her a talent to watch.
  10. Halle Berry – Halle Berry’s juicy fruits are such natural delicacies they basically won the actress an Oscar. Berry’s sexual proclivities with Billy Bob Thorton in “Monster’s Ball” nabbed her the Academy Award for Best Actress. Her impressive peace pagodas also made the actress significant dividends; her salary for the action snafu “Swordfish” was raised a good deal when Berry agreed to display her sponge cakes on film.
     
Posted on: Sep. 28, 2010