10 Best Republican Quotes

The 10 best Republican quotes show that politics can be serious business when it’s not busy making a spectacle of itself. What follows is a mix of the funny, the inspiring, and the downright absurd from the conservative side of the aisle.

  1. “I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the [buttocks].” Barry Goldwater, Republican senator from Arizona, said this in response to Jerry Falwell’s claim that “Every good Christian” should be concerned with the nomination of Sandra Day O’Connor to the Supreme Court.
  2. “Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy.” Dwight Eisenhower settled the debate once and for all by claiming that politicians are either full of themselves or full of you-know-what, neither of which is good for the American people.
  3. “Common looking people are the best in the world; that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.” Abraham Lincoln delivered this backhanded compliment to the majority of his constituents. To be fair, Honest Abe did know a thing or two about looking common.
  4. “Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.” A list of the best Republican quotes would have to include Dan Quayle. Surely Indiana Dan was channeling the Fresh Prince in his debut smash “Parents Just Don’t Understand.”
  5. “Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.” In this Republican quote, George W. Bush gave the middle finger to social taboos by boldly confronting the stigma of OB/GYN-patient love. No wonder premiums are so high.
  6. “And many of the [Hurricane Katrina refugees] in the [Houston Astrodome], you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them.” In one of the more interesting Republican quotes, Barbara Bush adopts the unique position that a natural disaster may crush your home, your dreams, and grind life to a bloodcurdling halt, but it’s really for your own good, so you should thank it. Go ahead now, thank the nice hurricane.
  7. “If the president does it, that means it is not illegal.” This was Richard Nixon’s response to David Frost, who questioned the power of a president to scoff at the law. Nixon probably added “It’s not illegal, Davey boy, it’s just plain wrong!” but the camera didn’t seem to catch it. That’s Tricky Dick for you!
  8. You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.” This one is from a man who could fill the best Republican quotes list by himself, Barry Goldwater. Here Goldwater denounced the widespread myth that homosexuals can’t fire weapons the same way heterosexuals can.
  9. “A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues.” Never one to fool around, Teddy Roosevelt’s Republican quote tells America what it already knows. In a twist of irony, that meant he pretty much didn’t say anything real on a real issue. But, hey, why not polish an old chestnut when politicians keep it relevant?
  10. “The Congress will push me to raise taxes, and I’ll say no, and they’ll push, and I’ll say no, they’ll push again and I’ll say to them, read my lips, no new taxes.” One of the most famous Republican quotes of all time, this comes from Papa Bush, George H. W., at the 1988 Republican National Convention. Bush received the nomination for president, got elected, and then promptly turned around and raised taxes. Maybe he meant to say, “Read my hips!” before gyrating like Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show.
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