Creating a list of the 10 Best Video Games to Play Stoned seems like a cake walk, yet we quickly realized that not all video games are created equal when it comes to satisfying the THC-laden brain of the stoned-gaming enthusiast. However, through rigorous play-testing and–ahem–hands on research we were able to find the sweet spot between impossibly frenetic action games (yes, weed does slow your reflexes) and slower, narrative based games that might stretch a cannabis-shortened attention span past the breaking limit. Here they are, in no particular order:
- "Super Mario Bros. 3" Mario lives in a candy-colored world of delicious weirdness, as only the Japanese can produce, but this little beauty pushes the already surreal world of Mario past Tim Burton-land and straight into WTF-ville, USA. There have been tons of other Mario video games, but for sheer, wonderful weirdness, this is the best to fire up when you fire up.
- "Oblivion" A gigantic, beautiful world, a loose, yet engrossing plot, and the voice acting of Patrick Stewart make this a great video game to play stoned. Wanna hack and slash? Goblins abound. Looking for a more mellow experience? Ride your horse to the top of a hill and watch the sun set.
- "Fallout 3" Often referred to as "Oblivion with guns," this video game is much more than that. The fact that it takes place in a post-apocalyptic alternate timeline may sound like a downer, but the tongue-in-cheek humor, incredible landscapes, and open-ended gameplay make it one of the best video games for the stoned.
- "Burnout Paradise" The best racing video game for the stoned: you are rewarded for crashes. It's encouraged. The more spectacular, the better. Set in the beautifully rendered Paradise City, this game will let you get your explosions on without having to focus on your compromised hand-eye coordination.
- "Peggle" Put pachinko, unicorns, and Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" in a blender, and what you get is this fiendishly addictive game that is one of the best video game for playing stoned. The story mode is divided into levels that can be completed in 10-20 minutes, making it easy to pick up and play before your mind wanders off to contemplate why LCD Soundsystem sounds so good when you're high.
- "Uncharted 2" Wouldn't it be cool to step inside a really well done Hollywood action movie? To be the guy who gets it on with hot gun-totin' chicks, always makes with snappy dialogue and, more importantly, blows stuff up real good? Yes. It would. And you can, with this video game that is tailor made for the stoned. A great script, action that is challenging but manageable, and platforming sequences that are actually fun, this game will suck you in and keep your attention no matter how fried you are.
- "Battlefield 1943" This awesome online shooter takes the multiplayer series of Battlefield games and boils them down to their essence: kill the other dude before he kills you. This video game is one of the best to play stoned, and unlike other games which boil down to "play three seconds, die, respawn, and repeat," you'll be able to actually play for minutes before getting fragged.
- "Resident Evil 4" The game that put action into the RE series, this game is perfect for scratching the zombie killing itch after you've been hitting the hookah while watching "Zombieland." Know that it features an evil midget as the bad guy, and lock and load for one of the best stoned video-gaming experiences, evuh.
- "Legend of Zelda" We're talking the OG 8-bit version here, not the Wii-based pap. Sure, the graphics are dated, the story is cliched, and the combat mechanics are, well, ancient, but this all-time-best video game will still rock your stoned world. We bet you can hear the tinkle of the sadistically addictive theme music in your head right now.
- The "Madden" Franchise Ah, Madden. Brings back memories of Sundays filled with wings, weed, and football. Of having one TV tuned to the game, and the other hosting a battle royale between the 1972 Dolphins and the All-Madden Team. Those were the golden days. Err, wait, that was just last October.
What Others Are Reading Right Now.
How to Turn (Almost) Every Lady’s Head
Top female stylists share their favorite men’s looks.
10 Red Flags That Kill Your Chances With Women
Wondering why that first date didn’t lead to a second? Read on.
6 Signs the Beard Is Just Not Working for You
You may need to grab a razor and ditch the facial fuzz.