If your love life is boring and predictable, these ten Christian sex tips can help you put the sizzle back in your marriage. Marital sex is a gift that God expects you to nurture and enjoy. Growing sexually with your wife is a biblical pursuit, but sex is not just a physical need. It’s an emotional, spiritual and relational need, too. A happy, God-honoring marriage takes this into consideration. The following tips can enhance your love life and help make marriage your number one priority.
- Pray about sex. Christian couples often separate their spiritual and sex life. If you and your wife do this, stop. The Bible says sex is a gift from God. Pray about your love life and praise God for the gift of sex, just as you would for other things.
- Get the right perspective. Christians should view sex from a biblical perspective. First Corinthians and Song of Solomon show that the Bible has much to say about sex. Get God’s perspective by reading these passages and other books on marital sex. Fill your mind with knowledge and insight to enhance your sex life.
- Understand the differences. Men and women are designed differently and they view sex differently. Men are visual and focus on physical appearance and the act of sex. Women are relational and focus on the whole relationship. Understanding these differences can greatly improve your marital intimacy.
- Grow less inhibited. If nothing inhibits you sexually, praise God. But if something keeps you from enjoying sex, explore the roots of your inhibition. Whether it’s your upbringing, personality or past sexual experiences, ask God to help you freely enjoy sex with creativity and passion.
- Help your wife turn you on. Don’t expect your wife to know everything about you or what turns you on sexually. Communicate with her by talking and showing her what you like in bed. You are probably more open to creativity and variation than she is. But anything you do together is good as long as it doesn’t cause physical, emotional or mental harm. Make sure she knows this.
- Learn how to turn her on. Learn how to make sex as exciting as possible for your wife. Remember, women are relational. Don’t focus exclusively on the physical aspects of lovemaking. Address the communication and relationship issues. But bedroom technique is important, so become a student of your wife. Learn where and how to kiss and touch her, and what gives her pleasure.
- Keep sex exciting. Don’t let your love life get boring. Christian couples can have remarkable sex lives if they are willing to get creative. Fun, free, uninhibited sex keeps marriage partners from getting bored and looking elsewhere for intimacy. Work hard not to let this happen. Pray and ask God for help.
- Come to terms with oral sex. Some think oral sex is a questionable expression of love. But the Bible doesn’t condemn oral sex between married partners. In fact, anything you do together in bed is acceptable and good, as long as it doesn’t cause harm. If one or both of you don’t want to pursue this form of sexual expression, that’s okay. Be open to learning more about it.
- Read about sex. Buy a book about marriage or sexual techniques. If it isn't explicitly Christian, that's okay, as long as it encourages a monogamous relationship. Read the book aloud together. Then have fun trying some of the positions or techniques.
- Make marriage top priority. Don't neglect your marriage. Apart from your relationship with God, your marriage should be top priority. A Christian couple, like any couple, can get lazy about their relationship. If you put more time and energy into anything (even ministry activities) than you do in your marriage, you are out of God’s will and your marriage will suffer. Do whatever you have to do to make sex a priority in your marriage.
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