10 Douchiest Brands

Sometimes it is hard to tell which brands are douchiest because some people can make anything look douchey; learn about the 10 douchiest brands and the douchey ways that people wear them.

  1. Abercrombie and Fitch. If you are wearing a tight T-shirt with a big, stupid moose festooned on the front, you probably look like a douche. This is not to say that you can't buy some casual cargo shorts from A&F; but seriously, stop popping your collar and stop paying 85 dollars to wear a shirt that looks like you sewed the lettering yourself and then fell into a can of paint.
  2. American Eagle. As a general rule, just stop wearing animal logos.
  3. Aeropostal. Aeropostal is for the gangster who doesn't want to spend a lot of money, but still wants to look like a douche.
  4. G-Unit. It is called "G-Unit," this alone makes it douchy (regardless of what the actual clothing looks like). Ironically, actual "G-units" do not seem to sport this logo, it is the twenty-something white kid who drives an Escalade who you will find in an oversized sweatshirt with the block lettering reading "G-UNIT."
  5. Mike's Hard Lemonade Co. There is nothing "hard" about Mike's. The "malternative" to real beer is a good indication that you don't know anything about beer and are therefore douchy.
  6. Seven. It doesn't get much douchier than guys wearing Seven Jeans. There are few (if any) girls who want to wear the same jeans as their boyfriends. Seven Jeans get bonus points for douchiness if they have rhinestones on the back pockets. 
  7. Ed Hardy. If you haven't heard of Ed Hardy, think overpriced T-shirt (or hoodie) with an ostentatious skull and bones that looks like it was tattooed to the shirt.
  8. Echo Unltd. Old world graphics and kangaroo pockets? Douchy.
  9. Nike. If you are not working out, just don't wear it. The unlaced high top sneakers, with the striped neon sweatshirts and the sideways hats. This is not a good look for any manly man.
  10. Tommy Bahama. Hawaiian-print shirts were douchey like 10 years ago when they first became popular; but Hawaiian print polo shirts? This is a whole new level of douchey. Note: It doesn't matter if you really play golf or if you are just trying to look like you play golf, Tommy Bahama is unequivocally one of the more douchey brands on this list.

Honorable Mention: Crocs. Crocs were possibly the worst idea ever. They are not even that comfortable! Easily one of the 10 douchiest brand.

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