10 Douchiest Phone Messages

If you are an educated, well-adjusted male, then you have probably never left one of these 10 douchiest phone messages. Unfortunately, there are many men who have left douchy messages like these and have no idea what they are doing wrong. When you guys are leaving these kinds of messages, it's hard for a lady to ever want to be around you again. If you have ever left one of these douchiest phone messages, then you need to seriously rethink your life.

  1. "Hey baby, wanna hook up?" No matter how casual you think a woman might be, you are never going to get the response that you want from a message like this.
  2. "Can I get your sister's number?" When you are chatting up a girl in a bar, she thinks that you like her company. Never call her because you are trying to get with her best friend or her sister. Douchy.
  3. "I think we need a break." Real men don't break up over voice mail. They also don't break up though text message. Be a man and have the conversation face to face.
  4. "Hey baby, I just ran over your cat." Sensitivity is required in a situation like this. This is definitely not a message that you need to leave on a voice mail.
  5. "Can I borrow $100?" If you have to ask your woman for money, then you can not afford to have a girlfriend. Do her a favor and just go ahead and break up with her, but be sure and do it face to face.
  6. "Me and the boys are in Vegas!" Seriously, don't leave a phone message like this one. You will be in major hot water when you return.
  7. "I can't make it to dinner because I'm about to get to level 16 on my game." Really? Grow up.
  8. "I forgot to use a condom last night." If you leave this phone message, it just might be the last thing you ever do.
  9. "My penis is burning." Don't call and tell her that! Get it checked out and then sit down and have a conversation with her.
  10. "I think I might be gay." Again, be a man. Tell her face to face and then go get some therapy immediately.

If you have ever left one of these 10 douchiest phone messages for a girl, then you should probably consider growing up a bit before you start dating again. Remember, real men know how to handle themselves with grace, tact and confidence.

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