10 Douchiest Things About John Mayer

The 10 douchiest things about John Mayer may make guys despise the youthful singer-songwriter, but women seem to embrace them. With a career that started in the 90's while he was still in his teen years, Mayer has since gone on to bigger hits, bigger notoriety, and occasional controversy, all on account of his pomp and talent. The douchiest things about John Mayer have not, in short, kept him from becoming a household name.

  1. Falls in love with his own lyrics. You don't have to be a genius to realize that Mayer loves to hear himself sing. With countless refrains of "Say What You Need to Say" and "Heartbreak Warfare," it's apparent that when this artist finds a combo of words he thinks of as cool, he's going to repeat them hundreds of times before the end of the song.
  2. Buys into his own hype. Mayer knows he is talented, and is not afraid to admit it when the media asks him. He takes his music seriously, which is essential for success, but there is also a sense that he sees himself as one of the greatest artists of all time, making for one of the douchiest things about John Mayer.
  3. Thinks he is God's gift to women. Recent years have seen less of a focus on music and more of a focus on Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson. With the careful attention he gives to his appearance and his love life, it's easy to see that the douchiest things about John Mayer include his confidence when it comes to women.
  4. Plays up the raspy voice. When listening to this artist, you get the sense that he intentionally tries to make his voice as raspy as possible, singing in hushed and whispered tones. Maybe that makes him more attractive to the ladies, but for his opponents, it makes for one of the douchiest things about John Mayer.
  5. Dates women out of his league. Boasting failed relationships with the aforementioned Aniston and Simpson, this relatively average looking guy is capable of dating women far hotter than that of any normal man.
  6. Writes songs like "Your Body Is A Wonderland." Few songs are as whiny, obnoxious, and pussy-whipped as "Your Body Is A Wonderland." The idea of a guy taking full pleasure in the exploration and servicing of the female body exemplifies everything alpha-males hate about him, and makes for another one of the douchiest things about John Mayer.  
  7. Makes hits out of whiny lyrics such as "Waiting for the World to Change." Mayer scored big with this political anthem for whiny losers. The message: everyone in media and politics controls the world. There is nothing that can be done about it. So rather than try, it's best to just sit off to the side, let them do what they do, and whine about having no power to make a difference.
  8. Shares way too much. Ask Mayer anything. It doesn't matter how personal. He'll give you an answer, and it doesn't matter what ex-girlfriend he embarrasses in the process, as exemplified in his infamous Playboy interview that caught the attention of various news outlets.
  9. Gets too much playtime on the radio. One of the douchiest things about John Mayer is something he really doesn't have a lot of control over, and that is radio airtime. Every time he releases a new single, radio stations across America feel obligated to play it twice an hour.
  10. Comes across with phony sensitivity. He tries to shroud his arrogance with a phony interest in pleasing women. This attribute makes him more attractive to them, while also registering as one of the douchiest things about John Mayer.
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