Narrowing Lil Wayne’s enormous output down to just 10 funny Lil' Wayne lyrics is a difficult task. In addition to his eight official albums, the prolific MC has countless guest appearances, mixtapes, demos, and remixes floating around the interweb. We’ve put in some hard work for you, and hopefully it’ll pay off.
- “Dear Mr. Toilet/I’m the shit/Got these other haters pissed ‘cause my toilet paper thick” – Weezy drops quotables left and right on “Money on My Mind,” including his classic coda “Fuck bitches, get money” and his peon to plumbing, which is one of 10 funny Lil Wanye lyrics.
- “All she want me to do is fuck the police…and after we got done/I said lady what's ya number she said 911” – “Tha Carter III” single “Mrs. Officer” is a thick cache of funny Lil Wayne lyrics. In his first verse, Weezy describes his sexual encounter with a female police officer and its aftermath.
- “Nice tires on the ‘ghini/You should wanna king me/Brain dead flow/Vegetable zucchini” – There are a number of lyrical gems to be found on Wayne’s “No Ceilings” mixtape, including this WTF free association flow from “Break Up” that goes from fly rims to zucchini in less than ten seconds. One of ten funny Weezy lyrics for sure.
- “I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed” – It’s hard to tell what’s funnier about this “A Milli” lyric, the fact that Weezy compares himself to both a venereal disease and a menstrual bleed or that a menstrual bleed is not a venereal disease and the whole think makes absolutely no sense. But it’s foul either way, and it’s pure Weezy F Baby.
- “We in this bitch like tampons/Dump ya in the woods now get ya camp on” – Free association strikes again as Lil Wanye compares himself to a feminine hygiene product and promises to make haters brave the great out doors. Taken from “Gonorrhea” this is one of 10 funny lyrics from New Orleans Finest.
- “Zoom zoom bitch/Ride a nigga’s broom witch” – Wanye spits so much lyrical gold on the “Dedication II” mixtape that shit should be sitting next to a leprechaun at the end of a rainbow. On “Get ‘Em,” Weezy tempts Harry Potter bitches to ride his magic stick in one of 10 funny Lil Wayne lyrics.
- “I might go crazy on these niggas I don’t give a motherfuck/Run up in his house and shoot his grandmother up” – Cube, Pac, DMX, Biggie: hip-hop is filled with gangstas. How does Weezy one up them all? But shooting your grandmother. At least so he threatens in one of 10 funny lyrics, taken from “3 Peat.”
- “Call me Lilweezyanna Carter/I go harder all about da dollar/Fuck two quarters/Bitch I pour syrup in dat vitamin water” – Weezy killed two birds with one stone on mixtape track “Lousianimal,” boasting of his love for dollars while dissing 50 Cent and his Glacéau riches. You can’t help but laugh at the idea of Wayne dissing 50 by spiking vitamin water with cough syrup.
- “Rodney King baby yeah I beat it like a cop” – Another nugget from “Mrs. Officer,” this funny Lil Wayne lyric sees the MC describing how he works his lady cop. Keeping it comical and topical, Weezy lets us know that he beats her sniz up like the police beat Rodney.
- “Damn I hate a shy bitch/Don't you hate a shy bitch?/Yeah I ate a shy bitch/She ain't shy no more, she changed her name to my bitch” – One more from “A Milli” for the folks at home. In this hilarious pair of couplets, Weezy expresses his abhorrence of shy bitches, sheds light on his past history of performing cunnilingus on said women, and lets us know that he’s good enough downtown to make aforementioned bitches convert to Wayne bitchism.
What Others Are Reading Right Now.
6 Signs She Wants You to Come Talk to Her at the Bar
These not-so-subtle hints mean legit interest—and time for action.
10 Types of Tattoos Women Love
That dumb bet you lost in college? It’s actually endearing.
Warning! 7 Lies All Women Tell Men
Prep for these fibs. Ladies will thank you, and that’s the truth.