10 Funny Relationship Quotes From Movies
Life may not be like the movies, but at least one of these 10 funny relationship quotes from movies will ring true for anyone who's ever been in a relationship. Some quotes are wry, some are witty and some are just plain obvious. From Joe Pesci to Mae West, there's a quote on this list for any love life.
- "When it comes to relationships, everyone's a used car salesman. Love people, just don't trust the warranty." Joe Pesci delivered this gem in 1994's "With Honors." Really, who else besides Pesci could deliver relationship advice about used car salesmen?
- “Sex is the game. Marriage is the penalty.” Both Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine had a wealth of quotable lines in 1974's Oscar-nominated "Sleuth," but it was Olivier's quote that made a spot on this list.
- "The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.” The 2002 underdog comedy "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" struck a chord for anyone with intimidating families. Lainie Kazan, as the family matriarch, doled out this advice about husband-wife relationships to her daughter.
- "Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable." Comedy legend Madeline Kahn was hilarious as the man-eating Mrs. White in 1985's "Clue."
- "I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and... um... settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that." "Four Weddings and a Funeral" is chock full of relationship quotes, but it was James Fleet's humble expectations about love that made it onto this list.
- "Well, it's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men." Mae West is a fountain of wry, bad-girl quotes. She produced these wise words in 1933's "I'm No Angel."
- "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore, to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." We probably don't even have to tell you that this neurotic quote is from Woody Allen. This particular quote comes from 1975's "Love and Death."
- "It's always the same. If you want a man to be nice to you, you have to be rotten to him." Though the plot of 1934's "Of Human Bondage" is certainly nothing to laugh about, Kay Johnson's funny advice about men still holds true today.
- “I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.” The brutal honesty of comedian Dave Chapelle in 1998's "You've Got Mail" is well worth a spot on this list.
- “I’ve begun too many romances in sentiment. They always end in settlement.” Though it sounds like something Cary Grant would have said in the '40s, this witty relationship quote actually came from Tom Wilkinson in 2004's "A Good Woman."