10 Healthy Intimacy Tips

By: Margaret Stewart

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Need 10 healthy intimacy tips? Healthy intimacy happens in a relationship when the people involved have created an emotional bond.  The individuals feel that they can share their deepest thoughts, as well as trust one another with their emotions.  Healthy intimacy is not always easy to achieve, as it requires both participants to be actively involved in building the relationship. 

  1. It Takes Time.  Just as most people would not marry someone they just met, you cannot expect to develop a healthy intimacy with someone right away.  A healthy intimacy requires time for discovery about the other person, including sharing thoughts, likes and dislikes and experiences. 
  2. Develop Trust.  Men’s Line Australia indicates that one of the most significant components of healthy intimacy is trust.  Trust is important to the relationship because both individuals are relying on the other to keep information that is shared confidential and not be judgmental in regard to deep, personal emotions. 
  3. Respect One Another.  Respect and trust go hand in hand pertaining to healthy intimacy in a relationship.  Keep in mind that you do not have to agree with the other person all of the time in order to have healthy intimacy, but you must respect their thoughts and emotions without degrading them, or making them feel inferior to you. 
  4. Understand Gender Differences.  According to Counselling Connection, woman think of intimacy in terms of emotions, while men think of intimacy in terms of sex.  As a result, if a man does not want to talk about his feelings, the woman senses a lack of intimacy and if a woman does not want to have sex, the man senses the same feeling.  Yet, understand that you can be intimate without a physical expression of emotions because it is the emotional connection that creates intimacy. 
  5. Understand Individuality/Personality Traits.  Every person has his or her own background, cultural identity, social standing and economic concerns.  All of these factors make up the individual’s personality/individuality and are expressed through his individual characteristics.  You need to allow yourself the opportunity to discover what these factors are and decide whether or not you can respect them as part of the person you are contemplating building intimacy with. 
  6. Overcome Fear.  A certain amount of fear is associated with building a healthy intimate relationship.  This is especially true for men who are afraid of expressing their emotions.  For example, some men may believe that by sharing their feelings that they will be looked at as weak.  Remember that sharing emotion is not weakness, it is a sign of trust. 
  7. Age Effects Intimacy.  CNN and the Mayo Clinic advise that as people age their definitions and approach to an intimate relationship will most likely change as well.  This includes psychological and physical changes that may impact how people relate to one another. 
  8. Be Open.  A significant part of an intimate relationship is the ability of both people to know that they will be heard, find comfort or be capable of discussing issues.  If one or both of the people in the relationship continually put the other one off, or refuses to listen, then the healthy intimacy that once existed may dissolve. 
  9. Demonstrate Caring.  Caring can be expressed through a gentle caress, or through consideration of another’s emotions.  Real Families suggests thinking about actions before you carry them out and ponder whether or not what you plan to do will have a negative impact on the other person. 
  10. Forgive.  You must be open to forgive unintentional acts, or those things that the other person has done that were accidental.  Use communication to discuss what happened, why it was hurtful and then be open to forgive him or her so that your relationship can continue to grow. 
Posted on: Dec. 13, 2010