10 Lame Pickup Lines That Never Work

Look, there are at least 10 lame pickup lines that never work.  These lame lines are hard on everybody.  They’re hard for you to deliver, and they’re hard for the object of your affections to hear.  Simply avoiding known terrible lines is not enough; you have to try to understand why they are so terrible.  Here is a primer on ten of the worst pickup lines.

1. “I lost my number, can I have yours?”  This line is not offensive, merely cheesy.  If a woman slaps you, then she is taking out other issues on you.  Do not, however, expect to convince anyone with this line.  If she gives you her number, then she was already into you.
2. “Do you have a mirror in your pocket?  Because I can see myself in your pants.”  Ah, the favored pickup line of middle school boys everywhere.  Try to remember this simple fact before using this lame pickup line: it is not as clever as you think it is.
3. “Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?” This awful pickup line crosses the line from annoying to insulting.  The goal of a pickup line is to make someone want to spend more time with you.  Treating them like a prostitute is not the best way to approach that goal.
4. “Am I dead?  Because this must be heaven!”  Flattery is a step in the right direction.  Try to give a genuine compliment instead of this tired line, though. 
5. <Hand them a sugar packet> “You dropped your name tag!”  Use this line carefully.  If you want to meet someone this line may make them laugh, but don’t expect them to jump into your arms. 
6. “Your place or mine?”  This lame pickup line isn’t insulting, merely uninspired.  If you cannot think of anything more creative than this, settle for asking the person their name.  Let the evening progress from there.
7. “You must be the real reason for global warming!”  At least this lame pick up line shows an awareness of current events.  That should give you at least a few points.  Unfortunately, it also reeks of schmaltz. 
8. “Baby I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your Bedrock!”   The only response you should expect with this line is for a hasty retreat.  It has all the charm of sexual frustration, mixed with a dash of a four year old's mentality.
9. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” Sorry, guys.  This line just tells the person you’re hitting on how highly you think of yourself.  It is not clever and it will probably not make her realize that she’s been missing you all her life.
10. “Today’s word is ‘legs.'  Let’s spread the word!”  This line is an instant hit with people who have already consumed enough alcohol to float a battleship.  Otherwise, steer clear.