10 Quotes About Drinking

These 10 quotes about drinking are the perfect way to decorate your home bar or beer fridge. Soak up bits of inebriated wisdom from some of history's most famous drinkers.

  1. “Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” Frank Sinatra probably would have founded his own church called The Holy Church of Brandy and Broads if he could have gotten away with it. The boozy singer was almost never seen without a cocktail in one hand and a girl on the other.
  2. “Here's to alcohol: The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.” How could we write a list of drinking quotes and not include one of America's most beloved barflies, Homer Simpson? Head on to Moe's Tavern, order a round of Duff beer and toast with Homer's words of wisdom.
  3. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” Humphrey Bogart was from Hollywood's Golden Age of Drinking where men wore suits and liked their liquor straight and their dames feisty. The "Casablanca" actor even had a drink named after him, the Bogart cocktail.
  4. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it.” Rodney Dangerfield is a gold mine of great drinking comedy. Another one that almost made the cut was "My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab."
  5. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Apparently, when Benjamin Franklin wasn't out finding our nation, writing almanacs or inventing electricity, he spent some time down at the local alehouse cultivating a love of beer. And that's why Ben Franklin's face is on our hundred-dollar bills, boys and girls.
  6. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry wrote a wealth of great beer quotes. He's right, the wheel really doesn't go as well with pizza. Or Mexican food. Or peanuts. Or another round of beer.
  7. “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” Believe it or not, this came from Kaiser Wilhelm. Yes, the Kaiser Wilhelm. So apparently, would-be world conquerers can forgo the strategy, armies and well-stocked treasuries in favor of a gal who likes a good beer.
  8. “Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” Like we could write any list about drinking and not include Ernest Hemingway. A Hemingway story without liquor is like a fish without water.
  9. “The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.” William Butler Yeats was a famous Irish poet who didn't feel the need to hide his drinking. The poet even composed a poem called "A Drinking Song." Yeats came from a classier time. Nowadays, "a drinking song" is synonymous with the drunk guy at the bar jukebox trying to figure out how to play "Don't Stop Believing."
  10. "He was a wise man who invented beer." We all knew Plato was a great philosopher, but we didn't know exactly how great until we read this quote.
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