10 Reasons To Date A Paintballer

Choosing only ten reasons to date a paintballer is tough. Besides the guns and the sexy bondage gear, paintballers have a lot going for them. They are squirrelly, nimble and love putting themselves in weird positions. But it should be noted that beneath their fascist military façade, they are sensitive people with sensitive needs. They just really enjoy shooting each other.

  1. Paintballers are the exactly the sort of people you will want to date when the alien invasion, zombie uprising or Apocalypse starts.
  2. You can tell your paintballer date to hide in the bushes when your husband is around, and he will do so in a stealthy manner.
  3. A paintballer will never stop the action until he actually hits the target.
  4. You don’t think your paintballer date is gay when he worries about not being able to find his tiny, little balls.
  5. Prancing around in the woods all day keeps a paintballer in much better shape than the drunks at the sport bar.
  6. Paintballers are willing to dive face first into your grassy veldt.
  7. The equipment harnesses, double layered thermal protection mask and knee pads will prove quite useful in the bedroom.
  8. A paintballer knows how to lube the ol’ cocker to keep the action smoooooth.
  9. Depending on how kinky you are, your paintballer date will not mind going at it solo, tag team or even in small groups.
  10. A paintballer understands that spraying you in the face can be dangerous.


Never mock the barrel length or handle the equipment on a first date.

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