10 Reasons We Hate Shia LaBeouf

It may seem like an impossible task to narrow down 10 reasons we hate Shia LaBeouf. But we're still willing to try—here are 10 reasons we hate Shia LaBeouf.

  1. His Name What kind of name is that? It's hard to say, and hard to spell. Get real, Shia LaBeouf. How are we, the public supposed express the reasons we hate Shia LaBeouf is we can't even pronounce your name?
  2. His Terrible Movies Shia LaBeouf has been in some horrible, horrible movies. That one Indiana Jones movie that doesn't actually exist, that "Rear Window"-meets-YouTube movie that no one remembers, Transformers. Honestly, Shia LaBeouf, if you want us to stop hating you, stop making such awful movies.
  3. His Hair Good lord, just look at his hair.
  4. His Voice Some reasons for hating Shia LaBeouf are simply self-evident (actually, all of them are). But this one is especially self-evident. Listen to his voice—if you don't hate him, just give up. Perhaps hating Shia LaBeouf isn't for you.
  5. His Bad Language If you're fortunate enough to not be aware of the fact that Shia LaBeouf, you may think he's just another filthy-mouthed Hollyweird limousine liberal. But no—he swears in order to transparently overcompensate for his kid-friendly image, which is blatantly obnoxious. Everyone knows the best way to demonstrate one's adulthood is by drinking at an airport bar. Any 13-year-old can swear!
  6. His Popularity How can he be so popular, when everyone hates him so much? Are there…(horrors)…Shia LaBeouf fans out there? If so, we hate them as well.
  7. His Mannerisms Most of his acting performances have the same jittery, spastic feel of a child attempting to maniacally emulate Bob Hope. We know that that actually sounds awesome on paper, but it's actually a reason we hate Shia LaBeouf.
  8. His Face Look at his face!
  9. He's Probably A Douche We have no inside information on the offscreen antics of Shia LaBeouf, but it stands to reason that he's probably a douche. And if unsubstantiated hunches can't be reasons we hate Shia LaBeouf, what can be?
  10. He Sucks Oh man, Shia LaBeouf sucks. We hate that guy.
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