This list of ten rules for an open relationship can save you a lot of trouble. So you’ve been dating a girl for a while and you really like her. Problem is, while you don’t want to let her go, you’re not quite ready for a totally committed, locked down relationship. If that sounds about right, and you think an open relationship could be the solution, here are 10 rules to help you pull it off, safely.
- Tell the truth. If you’re the only one that knows it’s an open relationship, it’s not an open relationship, it’s cheating. Yes, it’s difficult, but you have to be honest about exactly what you need from the relationship. Tell her you care and want to keep seeing her, but you’re not totally ready to settle down yet (the "yet" is important). That way, she can make an informed decision about what she’s getting herself into.
- When finding side chicks, deal with emotionally stable women. Don’t deal with a naïve chick who thinks you’re “the one,” or anyone who shows early signs of possessing anger management issues. Why? Because at some point her feelings will get involved and if she’s unstable, she won’t be able to handle her side chick status. She’ll most likely turn into a stalker. Pick a woman who has things happening, other than her “relationship” with you.
- Adopt a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with your main lady. It’s the best way to go unless you both want to drive each other crazy with details about other interests/activities. Because if it’s a true open relationship, that means she has license to date others as well. And we all know guys rarely handle that well. So just don’t ask. It also saves you from being interrogated.
- ALWAYS use protection. This should be a no-brainer to protect all parties involved!
- Shower, often. No woman wants to smell another woman on her man, even if she knows about her. Cologne is not good enough by itself. You need soap.
- Write notes for yourself. We all know it’s difficult enough to please one woman, let alone multiples. Write notes on your phone for events, special days, and even important conversations you had, and who you had them with. It will help keep everything straight in your head. And always make sure you’re texting or calling the right person. Nothing looks worse than an accidental mix-up.
- Lock your cell phone. Almost every phone has a way to password protect the information inside. This prevents the women you’re dating from going through your phone, reading texts and emails, and contacting your other “friends.” If you follow rule number two, this will be less likely, but you never know. Be on the safe side and lock your phone with a simple, four-digit password.
- DO NOT date any of your main girl’s friends, relatives, or co-workers. That’s just asking for a soap opera-like drama. No matter how objective and reasonable she was in agreeing to have an open relationship, all of that goes out the window the second you step into any one of those categories. You might as well play Carrie Underwood’s song, “Before He Cheats” for her, while she keys your car.
- Know the difference between your “wifey” and your “mistress.” As Jay-Z says, “Problem is, you dudes treat the one that you lovin’ with the same respect that you treat the one that you humpin’.” In an open relationship it is crucial that you prioritize your women. That way you won’t mess up the relationship with your main chick trying to keep your side chick happy.
- Figure out what you want. Because at then end of the day, an open relationship is a short-term solution. They’re fun for a while but truth is, if you need a number two (or three, or four), then maybe your number one isn’t “the one” for you. Think about the real reason behind your need for an open relationship before you continue.
Above all, the most important ingredient in an open relationship is honesty. If you have to lie about what’s going on, then you’re not doing it right.