10 Signs Of A Controlling Girlfriend
If you're having second thoughts about your relationship, then you should check for these 10 signs of a controlling girlfriend. A controlling girlfriend is one that keeps you on a short leash for no other purpose than to make her feel better about herself. She may justify this behavior by saying she was wronged in the past, but there's absolutely no reason why she needs to be lashing out on you.
- She constantly checks up on you. It's one thing to be worried about someone if you don't hear from them in a few days, but it's another thing entirely to call them up every hour when you've been apart from each other for a day or two. One of the top signs of a controlling girlfriend is if she feels the need to constantly keep tabs on you, where you're going, and who you're with.
- She keeps urging you to change yourself. It's fine if she asks you to, say, quit smoking or to take the occasional trip to the gym. When she asks you to stop listening to your favorite bands, or to change your shampoo to her favorite brand, she's pushing it.
- She chooses your friends. This one's a biggie, and it sadly goes unnoticed for some time. While it's perfectly fine for her to not like your friends as much as you do, it's unacceptable for her to implore you to not hang out with them because she doesn't approve of them.
- You only do what she wants. You like the movies, but she likes the opera. That's okay, until you find yourself on your seventh night out at the opera when you haven't caught a new film in nearly six months. A relationship is about compromise, which means that both people should have equal say in what the activities are.
- You find yourself apologizing for everything. Note that we're not saying that you shouldn't apologize when you mess up. However, if you find yourself apologizing for, say, admonishing her when she makes a mistake, then you have a controlling girlfriend. Ideally, you both should be able to show some humility and admit when you've wronged the other.
- She constantly criticizes you in front of other people. This is a less-than-subtle way of showing her dominance. By pointing out your flaws, whether they be small or large, in a group setting, she's essentially showing off the chains she's wrapped around your neck. Either way, this behavior is completely inexcusable and there's no reason that you should stand for it.
- You're constantly bargaining with her. This is different from friendly competition, like placing bets on who's going to win a game of basketball or Tekken. Bargaining means, say, having to constantly buy her gifts for affection. Or always doing the housework in hopes that she'll show you some affection later. Once again, this is about the compromise that comes with being in a relationship.
- She's willing to blow off your plans. This one's a little more subtle, but it's basically her way of telling you that she's the complete epicenter of the relationship, and that it doesn't matter what effort you went through to accommodate to her schedule because she has better things to do anyway. Don't try and sugar-coat things by saying that she's flaky, especially if she constantly does this.
- You feel like you can never do enough. If she chides you by saying that you don't love her enough, or that you don't make enough money, she's exerting her control over you. While it's healthy to want to change someone to better their situation, it's another thing to feel that they're imperfect until they can measure up to your exacting standards. To this effect, she'll keep reminding you in what areas you're lacking, destroying your self-confidence even more.
- She blows up at your for no apparent reason. If you say something that might be a little ambiguous and she comes out swinging, it's a surefire sign that she's a controlling girlfriend. Controlling people feel the need to exert their strength wherever they go, even if it means lashing out on those around them. If she does this on a regular basis, get out now.