10 Stupid Classic Songs

Like milk, these 10 stupid classic songs have a sell-by date. While not everyone is perfect, you would think the people who wrote the lyrics to the songs would think twice. Why the following songs were popular enough to be called classics will remain a mystery:

  1. My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion. Already a classic song before the movie came out on video, you still can’t help but smirk when you see Leonardo DiCaprio sink into the Atlantic. At the same time, however, you are a little green with envy because you wish you could get away from this overplayed song.
  2. Rock a Bye, Baby, traditional nursery rhyme and lullaby. When you think about the lyrics, you realize this song is about a person who placed a baby at the top of a tree. As a result, the baby fell out of the tree. It is a wonder how children can fall asleep to this song.
  3. Shine On, Harvest Moonby Nora Bayes and Jack Norworth. The lyrics in this song tell you that a poor fellow pleads the moon to keep shining bright because he “ain’t had no lovin’” for at least four months. If the guy could not even afford candles to illuminate his home, he is not going to be spooning anytime soon.
  4. Ring Around the Rosie,” traditional English nursery rhyme, folk song and singing game. Popular for children to sing as they hold hands in a circle, this song references the Black Plague of the 1600s, and how individuals would drop down. Hence, “Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.”
  5. Horse with No Nameby America.  It’s no surprise this catchy song is about getting stoned. This event in the song leads to the main character getting chased out of a restaurant by police for attempted to eat there in the buff.
  6. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clausby Jimmy Boyd. What child would not be traumatized or at least bothered by seeing his mother kissing another man, an old man at that?
  7. Jim Crack Cornby Burl Ives. A good look at the lyrics reveals this stupid classic song is about a slave whose master dies from a fly bite.
  8. Phantom of the Operaby Andrew Lloyd Webber. The principle of the song is what makes this theater classic stupid. It is doubtful that many young women would allow masked men who claim to be angels of music into their personal space unless they lacked the social skills to know who is a creep and who is not.
  9. The Fatal Flower Garden,” Traditional children's song. This old-time stuipid classic children’s song describes a little boy who is lured away by a strange women and killed. Talk about stranger danger.
  10. Whiskey in the Jar,” traditional Irish song. This Irish classic song is more stupidly tragic than good as it recounts the execution of a man after he jumps a military officer. The situation is all-good, though, because there is whiskey in the “jar-o.”

The world may never know why some songs see the light of day. What’s worse is that many individuals grew up singing some of these songs without ever knowing or realizing what they mean. In life, when it comes to music, there will always be the good, bad and the stupid.  

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