10 Tips For Getting Over Your Ex

By: Mickey Stevens

Break Studios Contributing Writer

No matter what, getting over a breakup is hard, but by following these 10 tips for getting over your ex, it can be a little bit easier. Most people have gone through a breakup at one time or another and they have lived to go on to lead happier lives. No matter the cause of the breakup, this article will take a look at some strategies for coping with your loss.

  1. Cut contact. Try not to call, email, text, write, send a smoke signal, or send a singing telegram to your ex. If you are really wanting to get over your ex, staying in contact with them will only prolong your hurt. Plus, if you constantly try to get in touch with your ex, you'll come across as clingy and needy. This kind of behavior will only make them reaffirm their decision.
  2. Give yourself time. Don't expect to feel better over night. You may experience mood swings or uncontrollable emotional reactions. This is normal and will pass. Allow yourself to fully experience those emotions and get them out of your system. There is no timetable as to when you’re supposed to be over your ex, so give yourself as much time as you need.
  3. Don't jump back into dating. It may be tempting to run out and try to get right back into the dating scene, but this will almost always result in disaster. Dating too soon after a breakup means you are rebounding, but all rebounding does is mask the pain that we need to face after a breakup. Plus, you could end up hurting someone else in the process.
  4. Don't abuse drugs or alcohol. Ok, if you need to go out with your friends and have a wild night to forget your woes, fine, but keep it in check. Abusing drugs or alcohol will only delay your pain and could lead to dependance, which is a problem you don't need to be dealing with.
  5. Talk. Talk to friends and family. Get online and seek out message boards and forums. Consider seeking counseling. A therapist can help you sort things out while giving you an unbiased, objective view of things. Talk openly and honestly. Your family and friends are there for you, so take advantage of that.
  6. Write in a journal. It may not seem manly, but writing your thoughts down in a journal can help tremendously, as it gets your thoughts coming out instead of bouncing around in your brain. A benefit to writing in a journal is that you can look back one day and see all of the progress you've made.
  7. Discover a new hobby. Now is a great time to seek out new hobbies and activities. You might find out that you have a hidden talent for writing or painting. Try learning an instrument or take a class. Try to enhance the person you are by letting go of the person you were when your ex was around. The best revenge is living well.
  8. Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way to help you get over your ex. Try volunteering at a local homeless shelter or at a domestic abuse crisis center. You'll feel better about yourself because you're helping others, and it will also let you see that things could always be worse.
  9. Make new friends. Seek out local groups that hold community activities in the area. There are many resources online for finding groups that meet in real life. You could also find a local church in the area that holds meetings for people in your age group.
  10. Treat yourself well. Getting over an ex is hard, so take this time to pamper yourself a little bit. Maybe you could even reinvent yourself; get a new haircut, get some new clothes, change the cologne you wear. You'll feel better about yourself and won't be reminded as much of your ex. Try to relax and don't rush the healing process. In time, you'll meet someone new who's so much more than your ex ever was. In fact, in time, you won't even think about ol' what's-her-name.
Posted on: Dec. 03, 2010