10 Tips For Marrying A Single Mother
The 10 tips for marrying a single mother are important to understand while you are dating a single mother. The fact that she is a single mother makes your marriage situation much different than if you were marrying someone without kids. When you read the 10 tips for marrying a single mother, keep in mind that you are getting a package deal with her and her child.
- Get to know the child better. Most single mothers will not want to have her and her child move in with someone until she is married. Part of the 10 tips for marrying a single mother is to spend more time with the child so that you get to know the child better and so that the child gets to know you better. Try spending time with just the two of you without the mother, but avoid talking about long-term situations with the child such as marriage.
- Get to know the mother better. Living in two separate homes where the mother and her child have their own living situation and you have yours is much different than bringing the two home situations together. When you are out on a date with the single mother, she is not going to talk about the future of her child, or the things her child likes and dislikes. If you intend to marry a single mother, then one of the 10 tips for marrying a single mother is to have in-depth conversations. Find out the mother's views on how the child should be raised, and what the mother's plans are for the child's future. Differences in raising the child, or the way the living arrangements should be done, need to be discussed before marriage.
- Avoid talking negatively about the child's father. Whether you know the child's father or not, and regardless of what your opinion is of him, never speak negatively about the father.
- Take it slow. One of the key parts of the 10 tips for marrying a single mother is to take things very slowly. If the child never knew her father then the child may want to cling to you as a paternal parent. If the child did know her father, then she may resent you trying to establish an authoritarian relationship with her right away. Earn the child's trust, and take the relationship slowly.
- Talk about the child. A mother's world is her children, and if you marry a single mother then you will want to spend a lot of time talking about the child with the mother. Ask about the child's early years, sit and look at pictures with the mother and listen intently on her plans for the child's future.
- Wait on Children. Even if you and the single mother have discussed having children together, it is best to wait a year or so before you actually have a child. The mother and the child will need time to adjust to being a family unit with you. Make things easier by establishing a comfortable home with the existing child first.
- Never shout. A single mother does not want to argue in front of her child, and she also wants to feel comfortable in her home with you. Avoiding loud arguments is definitely one of the 10 tips for marrying a single mother. Use rational discussion to solve issues.
- Home remodeling. A single mother may have a negative history with relationships, and that may also affect her child. When you start to create a home together, one of the 10 tips for marrying a single mother is to get the mother and child involved in creating that home. Make plans to remodel your home to make the mother and child comfortable, and let them get involved in the planning and execution of the remodeling.
- Treat the child as your own. To gain the respect of the child of the single mother you marry, you need to treat that child as if it were your own.
- Tell the truth. Single mothers have a lot of pressure on them. Do not add to it by lying to her.