10 Ugliest Cars of 2009

10 Ugliest Cars of 2009

The current global economic bummer-fest has brought un expected and welcome benefit--democratization of good design is all around us. The shiny $99 gps/wi-fi/internet enabled phone we carry in the pockets of the high-end designer ready to wear line clothes we bought at a big box store are prime examples of this. When we step into the parking lot towards our new cars though, all is not so rosy. Automotive design and model lifecycles move at a glacial pace and often do not reflect current design and cultural trends, but then again, there’s just some bad stuff out there. Here are 10 of the most dreadful offenders this year:

Porsche Panamera – Possibly the most universally hated Porsche design ever, and with good reason. Porsche kept many 911 design cues, all of the ones that don’t work on a car of this proportion. They’ve had success with other body styles (914, 944, 928), so why did they insist on trying to make a 4-door 911?

Kia Rio – If you think that picking on Kia is in poor taste and is akin to picking on the poor and downtrodden, think again. It’s just as easy to design a good car as it is to design a bad car. Kia has some decent looking cars (The Forte isn’t bad, and the Soul is OK), but the Rio is a turd. There’s nothing like a big old wedge of plastic on the side of the car to make it look like a toy.

Lexus HS – The LuxoPrius takes all the worst design motifs of the Lexus family and plops them onto a Prius with a trunk. This devalues the Lexus brand so much, it might as well be the Cadillac Cimarron of 2009.

Toyota Venza – Another crossover vehicle on the list—it’s easy to make fun of them because by nature they look like either a car that’s been scaled up in Photoshop, or an SUV that has been left in the dryer too long. They lack the purpose-built shapes of coupes and trucks and sedans, which have had decades to evolve into the general proportions we see today. The Venza is a particularly egregious offender, with its impossibly high beltline colliding with the front wheel arches and

Honda Pilot – This car has an uglier grill than Shane McGowan.

Mini Clubman – So you like the idea of getting a Mini, but you want to be able to carry around more than just 3 bags of groceries? I’m guessing this is the reason for the Mini Clubman, which looks like a hastily designed kit-car cousin to the modern classic.

Hyundai Tucson – This car sports a bumper that is so needlessly complicated that it make the car’s face look like a Chinese monkey with its cheeks full of lychee nuts, and its bottom half sheathed in black plastic cladding (when has this EVER been a good idea?) does not help matters.

Nissan Murano – Why does this car still exist? Hasn’t it lived through it’s life-cycle yet? Hasn’t it suffered enough ridicule to have it pulled from existence (a la the Pontiac Aztek?)

Chevy HHR – Hideously, Horribly, Repulsive. “Hey, I’ve got a great idea, let’s take the PT Cruiser, one of the ugliest cars in recent memory and make a poor, watered-down copy of it.” Done and done.

Impreza Sedan – Take a history of distinctive brand styling, add a rich pedigree of World Rally Championship racing heritage, throw that all out the window, and you get Subaru’s Impreza Sedan, one of the most disappointing and curiously plain cars of the year and looks as if someone was given a brief to design a rental car.