10 Worst John Mayer Quotes From Songs

John Mayer is a proven song writer, but even the best have a bad moment, so here are the 10 worst John Mayer quotes from songs. Some of these lyrics border on the ridiculous, some are just plain cheesy, some are laughable if you know anything about John Mayer the man. Here, in no particular order, are some of the worst song quotes from one of the best song writers of our generation. Please note the paradox.

  1. "City Love" "She keeps a toothbrush at my place/As if I had the extra space/She steals my clothes to wear to work/I know – her hairs are on my shirts." We are quite certain that John Mayer has enough "extra space" for a toothbrush. Not to mention, Mayer clearly needs to get his ego into check and start thinking of someone other than himself.
  2. "Clarity" "I worry, I weigh three times my body/I worry, I throw my fear around/But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain/The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain." The first line is just plain stupid. Or is that just his ego he's talking about. Then rock candy has become a diamond? Drivel at best.  
  3. "Sucker" "Sometimes, I wish that I was a cold beer/I'd rest assured that you would hold me near you/I'd be guaranteed to be just what you need." Maybe one of the many beer giants should use this song quote to sell their product. All woman wish their men were a beer "they could hold near." That rhyme is actually painful. The title here says it all.
  4. "Who Says" "Who says I can't get stoned/Plan a trip to Japan alone/Doesn't matter if I even go/Who says I can't get stoned." Ok John, of course you can "get stoned." You can even write bad songs when you're stoned if you want.
  5. "Split Screen Sadness" "Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and/Wait on the porch 'til you come back home/Oh, right/I can't find a flight" Looking at Mayer's relationships, it seems clear that he's not waiting for someone to come back, and he certainly isn't sleeping "inside [his] coat." Seems to us, he simply moves on to the next girl.
  6. "Your Body is a Wonderland" "One pair of candy lips and/Your bubble gum tongue, uh uh uh." Despite the popularity of this song, if you examine this "worst quote" you will see why it's on this list. "Candy lips" and "bumble gum tongue"? For a song about worshipping a woman's body, you think Mayer could come up with something a bit more sexy than gum and candy. Certainly one of Mayer's worst quotes.
  7. "Victoria" "Don't know why Tori came by/but I could see by the look in her eyes/Tory'd been driving 'round the town for a while." How do your eyes look when you have been driving for a while? How does he know that her eyes look this way just from driving? Maybe "Tori" was doing something else? Who knows?
  8. "Try" "Easy does it now/Keep your damn mouth shut/She thinks I hot already/Don't go and press your luck." Wow. Get your ego in check. We all know you're hot John. This Mayer quote belongs at the bottom of the list.
  9. "Assassin" "I was a killer, was the best they'd ever seen/I'd steal your heart before you ever heard a thing/I'm an assassin and I had a job to do/Little did I know that girl was an assassin too." A thief stealing hearts? This is about as cliche as you can get. Then the girl turns around and steals his heart. Brilliant! No one saw that coming. Perhaps John should assassinate this song.
  10. "Home life"  "I can tell you this much/I will marry just once/And if it doesn't work out/Give her half of my stuff." First of all, John Mayer getting married even once seems ludicrous. So how does this work? It's okay to date thousands as long as you marry one? Hmmm. Well there you have it, Mayer at his worst. Perhaps these ten lyrics constitute the worst Mayer quotes from songs, but keep looking, and you'll easily find the best.
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