10 Worst Pickup Lines To Never Use

By: Trina Berkeley

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Choosing the ten worst pickup lines to never use isn't easy. They're everywhere. Men seem hardwired to need to say cheesy shit to hot women, especially in bars after a few drinks. Don't fall into the trap of rehashing old pickup lines or making up a one-size fits all line. But most importantly, never, whatever you do, use these ten pickup lines; that is, unless you want to go home alone.

  1. "Did it hurt…When you fell from heaven?" Cheesy, corny, and putting the girl on a pedestal when you don’t even know her is not the way to go. And besides, dude, she’s not a fallen angel.
  2. "If you won't dance with me, will you at least dance FOR me?" Any implication that the girl is so hot she must a pole dancer is an insult. Any woman who falls for this crappy line is either too drunk or too stupid to understand the question. And who wants that?
  3. "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" It’s bold. It’s creepy. It’s offering to stay and cook for her in the morning, even if you don’t plan any such thing. If she’s smart she’ll tell you, “Fertilized.”
  4. "Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them." This pickup line screams douche bag because it’s assuming the girl is just dripping with desire for you to fuck her. It’s even worse than number three, because you’re not even offering to stay and cook breakfast.
  5. "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you." Canned, preserved, and used a million times, or variations of it. This screams dull-ass lame-o too stupid to think of an original pickup line.
  6. "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No.] Then wink." Are you an aging 70's-era swinger? Sleazy men who wear pinky rings use this line. Avoid it like the plague.
  7. "How about a pizza and a fuck?  What's the matter, don't like pizza?" This one was overheard in a bar somewhere on the Jersey shore. Chances are, you’re not getting anywhere with that lousy line.
  8. "Would you like some free candy and a ride in my van?" If you don't know why this one is possibly the worst line you could use, you need to see professional help, and you need it immediately.
  9. "Is your last name Campbell? Because you're looking mmmm, mmmm good!" Good grief, enough with the word play already, boys. Do you plan on slurping her the way you slurp your soup? Even if you do, this pickup line is so old, your great granddaddy probably used it when it was still new.
  10. "I know Karate and could kick you in the head right now without even standing up. Wanna go out on a date?" Any reference to possible physical harm will scatter in self-respecting women from your vicinity immediately. In any event, why would any woman want to know you can kick like a showgirl?

So there you have it. Ten of the absolute worst pickup lines you can possibly use. Remember men, when it comes to picking up a beautiful woman, be original.  If you really want to impress a woman, try this one: "My name is (insert your name here). I'm wrong. I admit it. I'm willing to change." 

Posted on: Nov. 25, 2010