5 Best Dexter Morgan Quotes

Get your fill of cunning mayhem with the 5 best Dexter Morgan quotes. Where most serial killers kill for the thrill of it, Dexter Morgan is a serial killer who kills for a cause. Dexter's sole reason for being is to catch the bad guys that made it through the cracks of the system and punish them with his own brand of justice. People who find themselves on Dexter Morgan's slab quickly find themselves wishing they had gotten a 25 to life sentence instead. As the combination good guy and bad guy of the show, Dexter Morgan has had more than his fair share of memorable quotes. Their delivery always has a sinister tongue-in-cheek bite to them that speaks volumes about the dual nature of Dexter Morgan. He's a great husband, father and friend–the consummate professional and perpetual nice guy, so nice that you won't see the knife coming until it is too late.

  1. "Needless to say to say I have some unusual habits, yet these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile."–Because he feels like he is devoid of normal human interaction, Dexter Morgan looks at the world around him like some grand experiment that he just can't figure out. Hence he doesn't understand why grown-ups can still appreciate the joy of playing with their food. However, when a vigilante, serial killer finds your table manners hostile, you may want to rethink going at that crab with a mallet.
  2. "Can't live with her, can't kill her."–During season two Dexter Morgan briefly left his boring girlfriend Rita for the smoking hot English nut case Lila. Even though Lila was nuttier than squirrel crap, Dexter Morgan couldn't kill her because she hadn't hurt anyone yet. No matter what his reasons, this is a Dexter Morgan quote that anyone who has ever been in a relationship can understand.
  3. "There is something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the day light of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killing look staged like you're in a new and daring section at Disney World. Dahmer-land."–As disturbing as this Dexter Morgan quote may be, we will admit that we would be much more inclined to visit Disney World if they announced the opening of Dahmer-land.
  4. "Harry and Doris did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest."–Throughout the show Dexter Morgan spends a lot of time reflecting on his relationship with his parents. And although we aren't 100% sure that Dexter didn't have anything to do with the death of his parents, Dexter Morgan is not the kind of man that you argue with.
  5. "The problem with eating and driving, which I love to do, is not being able to have my hands on the wheel in the 10 and 2 positions. It's a matter of public safety."–It's quotes like these that make Dexter Morgan the poster boy for the charming serial killer. He had probably just finished dumping a body right before spitting this line out.

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