5 Best ‘Dodgeball’ Movie Quotes

"Dodgeball" is one of the funniest movies ever made and as a result, the 5 best "Dodgeball" movie quotes are pretty entertaining as well. Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn are both masters of the one-liner, and their constant back and forth banter throughout "Dodgeball" provided some truly memorable lines. If you can memorize the 5 best "Dodgeball" movie quotes you will not only be funnier, but be invited to more parties as well. 

  1. "Son, you're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop!" – Patches O'Houlihan (Rip Torn) This is quite possibly the greatest insult ever uttered. Those handicapped former dodgeball stars can be a bitter bunch, and they don't hide their feelings about anyone. Patches O'Houlihan is the perfect example of a grumpy old washout with a quick wit and sharp tongue. Everyone should try and use this insult on somebody at least once in their life.
  2. "There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em." – White Goodman (Ben Stiller) What made White Goodman so entertaining was his egotism mixed with his lack of social grace. He could not pick up on any social cues at all, and as a result he usually said whatever made him sound like the biggest idiot. The best example of this is with his interactions with Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor), who he wanted to get naked. Goodman could not comprehend the fact that she wanted nothing to do with him, which created some of the most awkward situations imaginable.
  3. "Come on, Kate. It's time to put your mouth where our balls are." – Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn) Everyone loves a little bit of sexual innuendo. Peter La Fleur had the hots for Kate Veatch, but he also needed her to join the Average Joe's dodgeball team. That girl had a mean underhand toss. There was no better way to ask her to join the team than that. She liked the dirty talk.
  4. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood – nobody!" – White Goodman Again with this "Dodgeball" quote we have an example of White Goodman just not being very smart, and again it is hilarious. White Goodman utters this quote after his face is forcibly introduced to a wall by Kate Veatch, and it really fuels the rivalry between Goodman and Peter La Fleur. Idiocy and pride do not mix well.
  5. "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball." – Patches O'Houlihan This is advice to live by. In his own way, Patches O'Houlihan was an inspiration to everyone on the Average Joe's team. He might have been a crazy old bastard, but he made sense. His strenuous training regimen prepared the Average Joe's to become champions. It cannot be denied that Patches O'Houlihan, craziness and all, was the heart and soul of the Average Joe's dodgeball team.
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