5 Best ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ Movie Quotes

'Napoleon Dynamite,' the cult film hit that premiered in 2004, boasts the following five best 'Napoleon Dynamite' quotes from the funny and memorable script. The movie is known for its random, quirky quotes that imprinted themselves firmly into the minds of impressionable youth (and some adults) the world over.

  1. "Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true." Number one slot in the best 'Napoleon Dynamite' quotes goes to Pedro. Efren Ramirez plays the equally bored, but more obliviously rebellious, friend of Napoleon's. In a subplot, Pedro is determined to take over the high school class presidency. His unassuming foreign charm mixed in with his stereotypically outlandish perspective on American life, and his disillusioned bad boy persona, make this quote a keeper.
  2. "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to." John Heder, playing the title role of "Napoleon Dynamite" delivers his lines with such spunky flat affect that he makes Napoleon's stereotypically oblivious, nonchalant nerdiness seem cool. Number two in best 'Napoleon Dynamite' quotes occurs when Napoleon is first getting to know Deb, the film's token "love interest," played by Tina Majorina. No pick-up line could trump this backhanded compliment in the lunchroom laboratory of awkward teenage hormonal encounters.
  3. "Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!… Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!" Third in the five best 'Napoleon Dynamite' quotes, this line was so memorable it made its way to a T-shirt. The joke is one of those "you-had-to-be-there" quips but Tina is a llama and Napoleon is giving her a quesadilla, throwing it in angst over the fence. When nonchalant, bored Napoleon gets his dander up for no good reason other than clueless indignation, it's funny.
  4.  "Well, things are getting pretty intense right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin'        pretty serious" Kip (Aaron Ruell), Napoleon's older brother, boasts his penchant for chatting up babes on the Internet for hours at a time.  He drops this one-liner in response to his Uncle Rico's inquisitiveness about his new "girlfriend." An utter pencil-neck, Kip also boasts training for cage fighting. Uncle Rico (John Gries) has just moved in to help take care of the family temporarily. This quote wins the number four slot in "Napoleon Dynamite" quotes because of its absurd relevance to how counterintuitive dating in the Internet age really is. People used to get serious after swapping Varsity pins at the Malt Shoppe, for crying out loud.
  5. "Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done." Number five of the five best "Napoleon Dynamite" quotes is the result of a forced, awkward invite to a dance.  Trisha is the object of Napoleon's desires, and he decides that he will employ his graphic gifts as a great artist to woo and win her heart for the dance.  As predicted, the drawing looks like a four-year old scrawled with a blindfold and Trisha's mom "makes" her be nice to him and tell him she put it up in her "bedroom." When Napoleon walks over to Trisha's to seal the deal on the date, he drops this line in full testament to his grandiose geekiness. 


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