While enjoying the 5 best Peter Griffin quotes, it's important to remember that this Family Guy father is no role model. Peter Griffin quotes — while funny — are almost always offensive. He's like some drunk, homeless guy that doesn't know what he's saying, although he's almost always sober and somehow supports a dysfunctional family financially. This long-running animated show opens with a theme song tribute to All In The Family. Peter may not be the lovable racist Archie was, but he is by no means any friend to liberals. What makes his dialogue funny and relatable is that the things he says sound a lot like what most of us think — before our internal editors kick in. At times, the dog (Brian Griffin) acts as Peter's sanity guard; but there's only so much a family pet can do to save a foolish man from himself.
Peter Griffin: "Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'" Brian Griffin: "Peter, those are Cheerios."
(To a bus load of girls) "I'll be Charlie and all of you can be my angels. Except you. You be Bosley."
"Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you — very homosexually."
"I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal."
- "See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences."
As a final word of advise, don't try any of these Peter Griffin quotes at home. Unless you don't mind getting punched or slapped.