5 Best ‘Pineapple Express’ Movie Quotes

The 5 best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes come from the three primary characters, Dale Denton (Seth Rogen), Saul Silver (James Franco), and Red (Danny McBride). The movie revolves around a process server named Dale who witnesses a murder. Dale seeks help from his drug dealer Saul, and the two go on the run. They seek help from their friend Red, who ends up becoming a burden. If you are a fan of crude humor than you will love the five best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes.

  1. "I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body." – Red. During "Pineapple Express" a huge fight breaks out at Red's house, and he ends up getting shot. After accepting defeat Red lays down by the toilet and says one of the 5 best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes. What makes the scene comical is Dale's response to Red which is, "Well, you've been shot like seven times." Seeing a man get shot is not comical, but somehow "Pineapple Express" turns the situation into a funny scene.
  2. "I just got a shipment of Pineapple Express, the dopest dope I've ever smoked. Smellll it. It's like… God's vagina." – Saul. One of the best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes is drug dealer Saul describing to stoner Dale the type of weed he is selling. The end of the quote is gasp worthy shocking, and unexpected. There is no way you have ever heard anything described in that way, which is why it is a great line. It is such a great "Pineapple Express" movie quote that it was used in the trailer.
  3. "It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn… with, like, a bomb." – Saul. While describing the weed he is selling, Saul says one of the best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes. At the beginning of "Pineapple Express" Dale goes to Saul's apartment to purchase weed. Drug dealer Saul tells his client Dale that it is rare weed, and describes it in an out of the box manner. The movie line is quirky, funny, and can make you laugh out loud from just reading it.
  4. "Man, listen, I would just appreciate it if both of y'all would take your shoes off. This is brand-new carpet. You're tracking mud in here. Matheson, you got British Knights on. I ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987-…[Matheson shoots Red]" – Red. While Red is being interrogated by mob strong arms Matheson and Ted, he says one of the best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes. The mob knows the murder witness came to seek Red's help, and they demand answers. After Red sells out Dale and Red by telling the mob men everything, he says this funny and memorable movie quote. It is a great line to show Red still has a sarcastic sense of humor after being beaten up.
  5. "Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back as a dragon. You'll come back as Jude Law, okay? Which would you rather be?" – Dale. The over the top explanation of what Buddhism can entail is one of the best "Pineapple Express" movie quotes. Red tells Dale he is not into Buddhism, and Dale explains why karma is a good thing. It is a crass movie quote, but hilarious with how in depth Dale explains the different things people can become in another life. It is especially funny because Red inquires who the anal bead would belong too, and when Dale says it would be his.
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