5 Best Places For Masturbation
Since masturbation might as well be officially recognized as our national past time, it's tough to name the 5 best places to masturbate, but here's a list of some awesome places to get it on with yourself. From pulling your pud to fingering your fox, the world offers many different ways to enjoy self enjoyment. If you can get your hands off your junk for a moment, take a read through this list of some awesome places to get off.
- At home: Getting freaky with yourself at home is great. Privacy, seclusion, and control. You can do it in bed, in the shower, or while eating your morning cereal at the kitchen table. With all of the free internet porn available, the computer desk is always a great place as well. As the vast majority of masturbation takes place in the home, from getting frisky on the couch to feeling yourself up in the bathroom, the home is one of the best places to masturbate.
- Your car: Ok, this is quite daring. (Legal disclaimer: this article is not advocating driving and masturbating. Besides, you've got more pressing matters to attend to while driving...like texting.) If you're going to touch yourself while operating a two ton death machine, try doing it while stuck in a traffic jam. The excitement of knowing that strangers might be able to see can give you a rush. And let's face it, it's a terrific way to pass the time. While you're being honked at, you can do some honking of your own.
- At work: You've been stuck at work all day, your boss is being a jerk, customers and clients are pissing you off. What better way to blow off some steam than by blowing your load? If you've got a private bathroom available, you're home free. If you're stuck with a public bathroom, take heed not to be loud and always make sure to clean up correctly afterward. Then, spend the rest of the day with a grin on your face as your coworkers try to figure out why you're not miserable like them.
- In the great outdoors: We were born naked, right? Shouldn't we be allowed to let our private parts become public once again? Well, no, not unless you want to end up in jail with a sex offender label following you for the rest of your life. None the less, one of the best places for masturbation is out in nature. Find a secluded place, keep your eyes open for passersby, and get busy. Keep in mind, cameras are everywhere these days, even when you think you're in the middle of nowhere, so unless you want to end up being ogled by some virtual peeping tom, make sure you're not in range of a camera's lens.
- On a plane: So you're on a long flight. The movie sucks, the food sucks, and that baby screaming a few rows back is not helping at all. Yeah, you could get drunk on expensive airline liquor, or you could excuse yourself to the lavatory and join the mile high club by yourself. The altitude will add to your orgasm and the rest of the flight will be a breeze, even if that damn baby won't shut up.