Picking the five best Trojan War movies is tough. Some people take a sarcastic look through jaded, historical lenses while others like Trojan War movies for the endless brawling and half naked babes. Regardless of personal tastes, Troy will continue to captivate our imaginations just like it has for 3000 years.
- “Troy” (2004) For the viewers that slept through ancient history, the 2004 movie starring Brad Pitt is a nice action flick that will escape the critical and snide remarks. No one was expecting anything realistic or accurate. Taken on this level, it is a very entertaining movie with good special effects. It is one of those movies that starts out kicking ass and keeps the mindless violence going until the end. The action is almost enough to keep you from giggling at some of the bad acting. Also, it will keep your woman amused and maybe even excite her with all the oily hunks prancing around in leather.
- “Ulysses” (1955) Some may disagree that should not be on the list because the literate ones know the tale of Ulysses actually happens after the Trojan War. The reason why it makes the list of five best Trojan War movies is that Ulysses remembers the war through a series of flashbacks. Plus, this Italian production is one of the more grandiose treatments of Troy and it stars Kirk Douglas. For the unenlightened, he was the Brad Pitt of his day and starred in all the big epics.
- “Helen of Troy” (1956) Most of the more entertaining Trojan War movies come from the past. Before computerized special effects and insurance lawsuits, the only way to film a large scale conflict was to crowd a bunch of out of work actors into an area with prop swords and command them to fight. When you watch this movie, look how enthusiastic some of the extras are. Sure some are loafing around but others seem to be settling old scores. Look for a young Brigitte Bardot as Helen’s surly handmaiden.
- “Helen of Troy” on PBS (2005) There are countless documentaries and books on Troy with endless viewpoints and theories. Without the archeological evidence, there are still more questions than answers. But at least one factual account should be represented in a list bearing the five best Trojan War movies. This film is entertaining and makes us question some of the old texts we hold as truth about Troy. Plus, it is hosted by Bettany Hughes who is one hot history babe.
- “La Caduta di Troy” (1911) This will be a difficult movie to track down but it still lives in university theaters and other non mainstream movie houses. There are also a couple versions floating around the internet but all of the versions are edited differently for some reason. Regardless, this is an amazing piece of cinema history and condenses the entire epic story into ten minutes. Back then, audiences still enjoyed the surreal aspects of mythology rather than sweaty violence so you have these fantastic scenes of nymphs pulling Paris and Helen across the sea in a huge shell. The Trojan horse scene is amazing because in 1911, if you wanted to film hundreds of people pulling a huge horse, you got hundreds of people to pull a huge horse.
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