Wow, so you want to find the five best women prison movies, do you? Women prison movies have to be the worst genre of crap movie genres ever invented. But, for some reason, women prison movies are highly, highly entertaining. It couldn't be the story line. Women prison movies don't really have story lines. No matter what the film, each and every women prison movie follows the same cookie cutter story line. A chick get's wrongfully locked up. She may get beat up for a while. Eventually, she figures out how to either cope with a bunch of raging lesbians or escape the raging lesbians all together. Could it be that women prison movies focus on lot and lots of lesbian sex? Could be. Well, regardless of why you check out women prison movies, here are the top five for your viewing and jerking pleasure.
- "Caged Heat" (1974) This is the women in prison movie that defines the genre. A girl gets thrown in prison for a drug bust. This particular prison does crazy electro shock treatments on the inmates. Women are raped by the prison doctor, and they partake in the lesbian sexual satisfaction that women in prison viewers have grown to love and expect from this crappy genre. At least the girls get down with each other. You certainly won't find a story line worth remembering here.
- "Chained Heat" (1983) Guess what? A girl is thrown in jail for accidentally killing a guy. She's only there for eighteen months, but it's enough time for the lesbian sexual hijinks to ensue. Why is this particular women in prison title on the list? Easy. Linda Blair of the "Exorcist" fame is the wrongfully imprisoned hottie. Incredible. Who would've thought a demonically possessed, vomit spewing teenager would grow up to be such a hot piece of jail tail.
- "Chained Heat 2" (1993) This time the girls are in (drum roll) Russia!!! Yet another in a long line of crap movies, "Chained Heat 2" only had one thing going for it: a very hot Brigitte Nielsen plays the prison guard. Yes, Brigitte was smoking hot. Remember, this movie was released long before any stupid reality show with her in it went out. Oh yeah, naked chicks and bizarre sexual scenes make up the majority of the movie. Check it out.
- "Cellblock Sisters: Banished Behind Bars" (1995) OK, here's the scenario. One sister commits a crime. The other is thrown in jail for it. So, the original criminal of a sister decides to commit another crime in order to join her sibling behind bars. Well, at least they attempted a story line. Wait a minute. Sounds a lot like "Prison Break" with boobs. Well, at least there are boobs. "Prison Break" doesn't even have boobs.
- "Caged Heat 3000" (1995) Yeah, you guessed it. Chicks in prison. In the future. After a while, it's just plain silly. But, this flick has ray guns, sexy futuristic outfits, and of course, lesbian sex and boobs.
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