5 Essential First Date Conversations

By: Emma Larkins

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Anyone going on a date will want to know about these 5 essential first date conversations. Not only will having a plan of what to talk about help keep the date going smoothly, you'll also get a chance to learn the answers to some essential questions that deal with how the (possible) relationship will move forward.

  1. Is this a date? This is probably the most essential question you need answered. Dating has become extremely casual, and sometimes it's difficult to know if someone is interested in you just as a friend, or as something more. You might think that your invitation to the movies was pretty clear, only to find that she's brought her best girlfriend with her and they spend the whole night giggling together. Try and work the whole "this is a date" concept into your conversation early on.
  2. What are you looking for? After you've established that the other person knows it's a date, it's essential when dating to know what you're looking for. Someone fun to hang out with? A friend with benefits? Just seeing where things go? A serious long-term relationship? Don't even think about going into a date without knowing where you stand on this issue. And once you are on the date, find out if the other person is looking for the same thing, or at least something compatible. A friends-with-benefits seeker and someone looking for true love rarely make a good match.
  3. What do you do for fun? When you're having conversations on your first date, one important thing to discuss is what kind of activities and environments the other person enjoys. It's not essential to have a conversation about his or her top ten list of hobbies, but you want to know that the other person likes some of the things you like, or at least that the both of you are willing to explore each other's interests. Dating is, after all, supposed to be fun. For example, you should find out if your date prefers partying or staying at home on the weekends, and if he or she likes movie dates or adrenaline-pumping adventures.
  4. What annoys/bothers you the most? After you've established what the other person likes, another essential first date conversation involves talking about his or her dislikes. After all, you don't want to buy a dozen roses and find out that your date is horrified by the environmental repercussions. You don't have to get into a hot and heavy discussion of what each of you hates, but finding out the things that truly matter to your date can set you up for future dating successes.
  5. Will there be a second date? Sure, you could just leave the other person hanging by saying something like "I had a really good time, I'll call you" whether or not you intend to do so. But why not work a conversation about a second date into your first date? If the two of you are really clicking, it's not a bad idea to finalize plans for something fun to do together next time. And if you've found someone who's a keeper, it's essential that you declare your interest before someone else steals him or her away.

Tip: If you don't find much time to talk during your first date, don't try and cram all of these conversations in. Instead, consider talking about these points during subsequent dates.

Posted on: Jul. 09, 2010