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5 Natural Foods That Make You Poop

By: H.P. Mandrake

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Unfortunately, beer is not one of the 5 natural foods that make you poop. While it is true that if you drink enough beer, it will clear you out quicker than Roto-Rooter. Technically, beer is not a natural food. To keep things simple, this list will include only whole foods. Texas Fire Butt chili made with beans, gasoline and habanero peppers will make you poop and cry at the same time. But so will eating gravel.

  1. Nuts Peanuts and almonds are great natural foods to make you poop. If you enjoy chunky peanut butter and are the sort of person who tends to pause and admire his bowel movements, you already know this. Not only a great source of protein, nuts are mostly indigestible which means they carve their way through your intestinal blockage and help push out all that junk food that is backing you up.
  2. Pineapple Citrus is a natural food that will definitely make you poop. When you eat fresh pineapple, you are getting huge doses of fiber and citrus. Eat about a cup and let it work its magic.
  3. Papaya The various children of Polynesia scattered across the liquid continent love their pork. They cook it up thousands of ways but traditionally, it is considered a special treat rather than a staple. They also know a coconut and kukui nut-fattened hog is delicious, but like any meat, it can be hard to digest. The island cure is tasty--they eat papayas. Papayas are also used for softening up tough steaks, too. Eat one for breakfast on days you know you will overly carnivorous to ensure a smooth transition.
  4. Olive oil One of the odder items for natural foods that makes you poop is olive oil. It is like the Mediterranean version of the prune. If you are mildly uncomfortable (ate fast food three times in a row), take one tablespoon of olive oil. If you are a sick bastard that lived off of fast food for a week, take two tablespoons and pray that carcinogenic goop doesn’t leave any permanent stains.
  5. Prunes Prunes will always be one the five natural foods that make you poop. This is a tried and true method for crap. Commonly known as poop pills amongst junkies that use them to combat the clogging effects of opiates, eating a handful always insures a good crap. Variations include chopping prunes up with figs and smearing them on whole wheat toast. Or for a quick, explosive poop, warm up a glass of prune juice and swig it down to clear any bathroom for at least 45 minutes.
Posted on: Sep. 30, 2010